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6 Reasons to Send Nude Pictures to Your Deployed Spouse

Erin Whitehead
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tagged: military life, humor
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Photo Credit: Photo Pin

 

Oh, I know what you are thinking.   “Wait!  You mean you WANT us to send more a few naked pictures to our spouse while they are deployed?  That is NOT what I was expecting.”  Well folks, let’s just say that this old fashioned seasoned spouse has ‘evolved’ when it comes to the issue of baring all for the camera to spice up your relationship during any type of separation.  I used to think it was a stupid thing to do, but now I am all for it.  According to twitter and facebook, I was the odd man out on this subject.  Nude pictures seem to be flying from here to Afghanistan in record numbers and well, if that many people are doing it… it must be okay.  So, who wants to come over and drink a few ­bottles glasses of wine and help me with my photo shoot?

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Here we go… 6 reasons I think you should really consider sending those nude pictures the next time your spouse is gone:

6) No More Creepy Drugstore Guy

Remember the days when you had to put on a hat, scarf, and huge sunglasses just to take that roll of film down to the drugstore and develop it?  And if you had naked pictures in there, you were guaranteed to get the creepy guy who drove a suspiciously empty ice cream truck as your developer.  Well, thanks to the internet… we can avoid that creepy guy altogether.  Now, when you take those photos they are just between you, your spouse… and the Cloud.

5) You Want Your Kids to Know That Mommy USED to be Hot

Let’s face it.  Age is not kind to the naked body.  Sure there are some women who, with the help of great genes and an amazing plastic surgeon, can look slammin’ in the buff until they are collecting social security… but they are not the rule.  As we age gravity does cruel things.  Those perky breasts you once loved will be in dire need of a belt when they are hanging around your waist.  So take those pictures now and send them out.  That way when your kids get a hold of them as adults and you are long gone… they will be able to remember you for the vibrant, sexual creature you were in your younger years.

4) The Internet is MUCH More Secure than it used to Be

True, back in the day it was really dangerous to send stuff online because there was a chance that everyone and their brother could get a hold of it.  But not now!  Thanks to the invention of the smart phone and screen shotting, our information is more secure than ever.  Facebook has privacy settings and it is virtually impossible to hack into anyone’s email account anymore.  Whew!  So no more worrying about your pictures being in the hands of every soldier deployed.  NO ONE will see those photos except you and your spouse.  Ever.  I promise.

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