Being a military spouse can be a whirlwind of acronyms, deployments, and emotions, and knowing which way is up can be tricky, so here are ten mistakes to avoid as a military spouse.
1: Write in pencil, not pen.
Our world is ever-changing and flexibility is the order of the day. Act as if orders are accurate until new ones come. Go with the flow, and you’ll be okay.
2: Don’t paint everything with a bad brush.
There are ups and downs in the military world. Just because it happened to someone you know doesn’t mean it will happen to another. One experience does not speak for all.
3: There’s not only one way to be a military spouse.
Some spouses volunteer all of the time, while others work, and others still are stay-at-home parents. There is no spouse ranking, so you can just be you.
4: Have hobbies just for you.
It’s easy to get caught up in the tempo of your spouse’s career and lose yourself. Having hobbies helps you stay busy when your spouse leaves.
5: Remember, this is not the civilian world.
Your family may miss weddings, funerals, or other events because your spouse is in the military. People remark, “That’s not fair!” but the military world doesn’t operate as the civilian one does.
6: Don’t wear your spouse’s rank.
The military may tell you where you live and what your spouse does, but you do not have rank. Enjoy military discounts and the USO at airports, but remember, the gate guard is not saluting you.
7: Check uniforms before washing.
Check ALL uniform pockets on wash day if you don’t want any surprises. You’ll find the missing CAC card, pens, some spare change, and possibly even copies of orders.
8: Don’t bro-hug the commander.
Familiarity is great, and a squadron can become a family, but be respectful. Handshakes customarily cover greetings, so you can avoid the mistake one milspouse made when she bro-hugged the commander out of nerves.
9: Know your benefits.
Whether your spouse is active duty, retired, or guard directly impacts your health insurance, benefits, and ability to access certain places. Knowing what is true in your specific situation can be crucial in saving you time, energy, and money later on.
10: Follow the chain of command.
Keep basic information accessible like their squadron or first shirt’s info in case of an emergency. Ask a friend, or talk to your spouse if you see something and have questions before emailing the base commander.
We all make mistakes, and we can grow from them. Ask a local military spouse you know if you have questions, and remember we are all in this together.