The holidays have a way of stirring emotions we thought we had neatly stored away. A song, a smell, a movie, a family photo — any one of them can be a trigger, pulling up memories of people we miss, places we loved, or seasons of life we haven’t fully healed from.

For military families, holiday homesickness is baked into the rhythm of the lifestyle. Every duty station holds a different chapter, and each chapter holds people and traditions we can’t replicate in our new zip code. When the holidays arrive, the contrast becomes sharper: what used to be familiar now feels far away.

If you’re feeling that ache this year, I want to begin here:
You are not broken. You are not behind. You are not failing the holiday season.
You are experiencing a natural emotional response to real loss, change, and longing.
It makes sense. All of it.

Here are clinically informed, compassion-centered ways to navigate holiday triggers and the heavy feeling of homesickness — without abandoning joy, connection, or yourself.

Identify Your Triggers (Awareness Lowers Intensity)

In therapy, we call this trigger tracking.
You are simply observing what impacts you — not judging yourself for having a reaction.

Ask yourself:

• What holiday memories feel hardest this year?
  
• Which activities, songs, or traditions bring up sadness or anxiety?
  
• What parts of the season feel overwhelming or isolating?
  

Naming these moments creates emotional space. Awareness gives you choice.

Adjust Expectations With Compassion, Not Pressure

Homesickness often shows up as frustration, irritability, or sadness when things don’t feel the way they “should.”

Let this be the year you allow your holidays to look different.
Simpler. Softer. More aligned with your real capacity.

Lower the bar — not your worth.
Drop tasks that drain you — not your ability to celebrate.

You don’t need to perform holiday joy.
You only need to experience it in its true form, whatever that looks like for you this season.

Ask for Support (And Tell People What You Need)

You deserve care, too.
And many people in your life want to help — they just don’t know how.

This is the time to lean in and say:

• “Check on me this week.”
  
• “Would you send a text Christmas morning?”
  
• “Can you mail a handwritten note? It would mean a lot.”
  
• “Can you help me with gifts or decorating?”
  
• “A FaceTime call would make me feel connected.”
  

Support doesn’t erase homesickness, but it buffers its weight.

Create Community — or Step Into One

Homesickness often eases when we build connection with the people physically near us.
You can’t bring your hometown here, but you can create belonging where you are.

Try:

• Hosting a small “open house hot chocolate night”
  
• Inviting another solo spouse or neighbor for dinner
  
• Participating in your installation’s holiday events
  
• Joining a cookie exchange, ornament swap, or unit gathering
  
• Opening your home gently to someone else who’s missing home
  

Connection doesn’t replace what you left — it gives you something new to hold.

Make Space for the Hard Emotions (They Don’t Cancel Joy)

Feelings come in waves — not categories.
Homesickness can exist on the same day as laughter, gratitude, or excitement.
Allow that complexity without shame.

When a wave hits:

• Pause
  
• Breathe slowly
  
• Ground yourself with the 5-4-3-2-1 method
  
• Take a short walk
  
• Step outside into fresh air
  
• Sit with a warm drink and name what you’re feeling
  

Emotions often soften when we give them permission to arrive.

Create New Traditions That Fit This Season

When old traditions hurt more than they help, create something gentler:

• Make a pinecone wreath from your local area
  
• Start a holiday walk routine
  
• Light a candle for “people we miss” each evening
  
• Introduce a board game night or puzzle ritual
  
• Cook one dish that feels like home
  

Traditions don’t have to be inherited — they can be created where you stand.

Homesickness is not a flaw.
It’s evidence of love, belonging, and the places that shaped you.

You are navigating a season saturated with emotion while carrying the weight of military life. That takes resilience, tenderness, and incredible strength.

Let this holiday be gentler.
Let it be smaller.
Let it be real.

And above all — let yourself be supported.