10 Reasons Why Your Elf on the Shelf Didn’t Move Last Night

We recently received this bulletin that must be widely disseminated to all military kids who may be impacted by these recent issues at the North Pole. Top Elf, Charlie Bravo, who heads up the Military Kids Elf Division, has listed these possible reasons as to why your child’s Elf on the Shelf may not have moved or appeared as of yet on their shelf:

  1. Santa released new uniform guidelines and we are all waiting in line to be issued our new set of EDUs (Elf Dress Uniform).
  2. The MPs caught me flying 21 mph in a 20 mph zone in the housing area.
  3. We’ve been working so hard at the North Pole that Santa gave us 24 hour “Snow Leave”!
  4. Workshop Lockdown: One of the elves lost a pair of night vision goggles.
  5. Pulling a double shift at the “Toys for Tots” collection at the mall!
  6. There’s a mandatory training event at the workshop.
  7. All the elves have to go out to the training area to qualify on the new navigation equipment.
  8. It’s a four-day weekend so the elves from the sled shop are taking liberty and heading somewhere extra snowy.
  9. Three of my elf buddies are reenlisting tomorrow. I can’t miss their re-up ceremony!
  10. Unfortunate allergic reaction to some blue camo that should have gone on toys (but went on my face instead).
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