One of the biggest challenges in my life is finding my own sense of worth. Sure, the roles that I fulfill within our military community are important. But those are just pieces of me, just actions that I perform. Up until recently, I saw these roles individually instead of a part of the larger picture– part of the greater. I saw myself only as a volunteer, military spouse or mother. Which left me feeling as though I was somehow lacking or inadequate to matter solely on my own; I had to be something for anyone to place any importance on me.
I didn’t place a value on the qualities that I needed in order to fulfill each of those roles. I saw the roles as actions as opposed to recognizing that fulfilling these roles means that I possess qualities that do validate who I am. Qualities that many of us as military spouses carry, that the military lifestyle has taught us. Qualities such as: being kind-hearted, caring, strong, adaptable and sacrificial.
You see we are more than the roles we fill. Instead, we are the qualities that we embody in order to fulfill each of these roles. Those qualities define us; not what we give but with what heart. Anyone can be a volunteer, parent, spouse– but it takes heart to perform every/any role successfully.
The world, our society and the military spouse culture can cuase us to get stuck on our roles, and we begin to lose ourselves in those roles as a form of validation for who we are. But we should keep in mind that we are valid not because of what we do, but because of who we are.
For the month of September Military Spouses of Strength is challenging everyone to watch the #YouMatter video http://youtu.be/HX0yRfLWsr4 and show your support in showing others that they matter by taking a picture holding a sign that says #YouMatter and why. Don’t forget to tag Military Spouses of Strength so we can show off all of the wonderful, supportive pictures.
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