When I first fell in love with my now husband, I was bright-eyed about the kind of life the Navy could bring us.

When I first fell in love with my now husband, I was bright-eyed about the kind of life the Navy could bring us. It wasn’t that I was unaware of the deployments and regular moves, (my Dad was in the Air Force most of my childhood,) but I thought the pros would surely outweigh the cons. As things got more serious between the two of us, I started looking for more information on being a military spouse. I found blogs, articles, and Facebook groups and started asking questions to fellow spouses about what exactly to expect as a new Navy wife. While some spouses talked about the uncertainty of their partners’ schedules, and others about the excitement of seeing new places, many came to one firm agreement: Never make plans with any friends or try to predict the future. Now that we’ve been married for two years, I see what they mean. Murphy’s Law , the idea that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong, has regularly proved to be accurate during my husband’s time in the military. And unfortunately, it’s easy to get pessimistic when having to cancel holiday plans , or even weddings, and tough to hope for the best when your last pick on your dream sheet ends up being your next PCS order. But instead of simply giving up, is it possible to see Murphy’s Law in a new way, and look for the positives that come from the twists and turns the military throws at us? Then we can start to use the old adage to our advantage with these 3 simple principles. 1. Murphy’s Law helps us become more resilient. The most resilient people I know are military spouses .We move across the country, sometimes with little time to prepare, find new jobs, schools, and friends, and have to accumulate ourselves in unfamiliar places, all while our spouses are gone or spending long hours at work. Without the unpredictable happening--the canceled date nights, the babies born during deployments, the extra hours at work--we wouldn't have had the opportunity to become so courageous. It's true that it can be hard to see it that way sometimes, but I know if I had never married a sailor, I wouldn’t be the same adaptable person I am now. 2. Murphy’s Law can show us what’s really important. My husband and I planned a fairly expensive, all-inclusive honeymoon to Mexico about a year after we got married. We had been counting down the days for months, staring in awe at pictures of the resort, and planning out our days on the beach. Then, a few days before we were scheduled to leave, he got a call from work. They needed him to come in the next week, meaning our vacation would need to be canceled. We ended up having to spend nearly a thousand dollars to go on the same trip, a week later. I was angry and upset about the financial burden and having to make so many complicated last-minute changes in our plans (I’ve never spent so long on the phone), but my always patient husband reminded me, “At the end of the day, it’s just money.” We still got to go on our trip and enjoyed the rare time we had to spend together just the two of us, which was much more memorable than the complications getting there. After about a year of letting myself get upset about the canceled plans and unwelcome surprises, I realized that I was wasting precious time I could be spending with my husband worrying about the next thing that could go wrong. Now, I try to soak up every moment I can get, planned or not. 3. Murphy’s Law brings us together. Each time we’ve moved, I’ve been surprised by how generous military families are. Whether it's neighbors offering to unload the U-Haul, my husband’s classmates spending weekends lugging furniture into our house, or smiling spouses bringing over pastries, everyone is genuinely happy to help. It seems to me that the reason military families are so giving is that we know how often things can fall apart. We know how stressful moves can be, and how broken plans are often the norm. We’ve been through it ourselves, and we want to help others where we can, even if that means spending a summer day in Southern heat moving boxes for complete strangers. I won’t pretend that I sometimes didn’t think about a life outside the military, one in which I could spend every weekend exploring with my husband, or book vacations a year in advance, but I know that this life we have now, where everything that can go wrong and usually does, has made us the strong, stupid-in-love couple we are now. Murphy's Law may show up time and time again for military families, but if anyone can handle the unexpected, it's us. We should be friends on Facebook!

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