The Awful Sacrifice That Will Change Our Stars

I’m not selfish. It’s called a hustle, folks. While I’m writing this as a military spouse with a husband deployed back-to-back for 5 years, I think my story speaks to every relationship out there.

As women we are told to be trailblazers at a young age and to get a career and success before you get married and have kids. Ya know, do what your parents didn’t do kind of thing. So out we go into the world and work our tails off and then 25 hits and all of the sudden everyone’s wondering, “Why haven’t you settled down?” The pressure only mounts as each year passes and you start to question why you haven’t.

Everyone seems to think you have something wrong with you. But I thought I was supposed to hustle? Which one is it?

I started my career at 17 and never stopped running because I grew up in a very tough situation and therefore I never wanted to rely on anyone to get anything done if I could do it myself. Yet, I always kept the team mentality that I may be getting it wrong.

But if people made promises they couldn’t keep, I moved forward and took care of myself. I was never going to get married, never thought about having kids and it was career life for me to change the world somehow.

Fast forward to 30 and I had hit accolades I could have only dreamed of, but as they say, hard work pays off. I was the youngest and only female VP of sales on Capitol Hill and did everything society told me to do.

You know the normal stuff, drive a nice car, dress a certain way, be extended invitations to exclusive events, etc., and guess what? I HATED IT. I looked around and was like, “OK I’m here, now what?”

As God would have it, along came my amazing husband. We met and married in 7 months (that is a story in itself) and he stole me away to the beach at Camp Pendleton. It took about 90 days to acclimate from career woman kicking boys in the shins every day to win-win-win to relax and focus on the legacy I wanted to start and build.

As a nonprofit founder and CEO that helps others for a living on a one-income and one-car home, my husband supported me and I held down the finances. Thanks to sponsors and support outside of our home, our business went from one chapter supporting the Marines to international supporting all branches around the world.

Deployments became easier and easier because working on the organization would keep me awake for whatever time zone he was in. People would always ask if we had kids and I would politely remark that it takes two to tango.