Dear CEO…

Dear CEO of WHATUP Glass Chalk,

First off:  Great idea! (but you’re off my Christmas list)

Second:  ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!!

As much as I would like to thank you for such a grand invention, I am busy nursing my headache from inhaling toxic Clorox fumes mixed with several other cleaning ingredients. 

I’m also not quite sure how long it will take my hands to heal from the cramps and wet wrinkled redness incurred by the hours of scouring my front step and glass door frame.  

I’m just curious, when you put in the directions that, “Once dry it will not wash off in the rain but can be wiped off with a wet towel” was that a little inside joke and your way getting in with the “Lets torture mothers” club?  I mean,… Legos has ity bitty tinny tiny pieces that hide in the carpet just waiting for an unsuspecting bare foot, and Barbie with her awesome 6 million high heels that can clog a sink and wreak havoc on a bare foot as well.  So you just decide,  “Let’s join in!!”  Really??  

Let me tell you about my little experience with your fun in a tube.  There I was standing in the arts and crafts section of a store and my children convince me these markers are a “must have”, and of course they will wash the windows after they decorate…. of course.  (insert roll of eyes)  But hearing they want to decorate for an upcoming birthday I fall for their manipulative little plan.  I figure what can it hurt?  Famous last words! 

The kids were so excited with their new purchase they could hardly wait to get home, all I can say here is thank goodness they did!  No sooner did I put the car in park all the windows in the house were at the mercy of two children armed with glass chalk and not a window was bare.  Being a very tolerant person I have to tell you I let their art work stand for over 24 hours before I demanded the removal of all graffiti and master pieces.  I must say your statement of “all you need is a very wet towel and a little bit of rubbing,” is very deceptive unless you are a bodybuilder with 12″ biceps.  Ok, now, I have a good sense of humor, but whoever in your office created this little chaos in a bottle is evil and I would like his address.

After an entire day of following the kids around with a large trash bag, several rolls of paper towels and a bottle of windex we reached the front door.  OMG… I looked at the blue splattered all over the brick stoop and door matt. No real noise came from my mouth when my jaw flew open, and I think I pulled a muscle in my neck when I jerked my head so quickly to stare crazily at the 2 guilty children now standing motionless behind me.  

Well, by now I’m sure you can picture two kids pointing at each other until one finally gives in and says, “Mom, it wasn’t writing anymore so you have to shake it!”  SHAKE IT??!!!  Wellllll…. nooooow it all makes sense….  Of course there is not a shake clause in your directions now is there?  Wait!  There is… as a matter of fact the directions state, “Vigorously shake the tube!!”  Seriously??  Are you nuts?  Do you completely understand what “vigorously shake” means to a boy??  What it means, is NOTHING IS SAFE!  

So, after about an hour of directing the kids on how to clean up the mess, and watching the blue smear all over the place and down the glass onto the white trim around the door I had enough. I found my deep breathing technique completely useless so I sent them in the house to find all markers and throw them away.    My $10 purchase for your wonderful colors of glass chalk have now cost me the following:

$18.00 Large bottle of Tylenol

$8.99 icy hot for the neck pain

$4.79 bottle of clorox

$6.25 windex

$6.99 oxy clean

$5.00 paper towels

$179.99 Power Washer!!!!  

Yes… my “fun” little purchase has turned into a whopping $230.01 venture, and that doesn’t even cover the hours of hard labor I suffered.  Feel free to send me a check or lots of “I’m sorry!” gifts.  BTW… I won’t charge for the bottle of wine… it was already in the fridge.


Teri Lathrop

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