13. “You know what’s the best thing ever? You finding out that you’re not deploying and then you’re deployed two weeks later.” I just can’t get enough of you not being here.
14. “Oh my gosh, I love it when we have an emotional, tearful farewell, and I drive home, barely breathing, and after I get to our empty home and calm down and begin to face reality, you rush into our house because you forgot your shoes.” Closure: Don’t need it, don’t want it.
15. ”I love washing your uniforms.” Especially when you’ve been out in the field all week. I love breathing in that lingering pine scent coupled with your natural musk.
16. “You think you’ll be home early today? I will 100% make definite, immovable plans.” Making and cancelling reservations are my favorite pastimes. Ramen for dinner, babe?
17. “Let’s plan a vacation six months in advance.” I’ve never cried my eyes out about any failed vacation plans, and my kids have a totally mature understanding of the situation. We are all completely rational about it, and then we all hold hands and smile together.
18. “What else could go wrong?” Nothing. Nothing will ever go wrong.
There you have it. Clear, indicative statements of What Not to Say as a Military Spouse.
But, just as military life requires a “hope-for-the-best-but-expect-the-worst” mentality, I’m not going to bet you any of our military salary dollaz that I never say one of these out of forgetful enthusiasm.
After all, never say never.
