Work
11: Ask for feedback.
Not every job will offer a clear process for performance reviews or evaluations. Rather than wait until you’re told, ask for feedback throughout the year. Did you just lead a client call or meeting? Ask your manager how they thought it went. Ask him or her what you could do to improve for next time. Your career might be in baby steps, but focus on being better than yesterday.
12: Get organized.
Organization looks different for everyone. Whether you work at an office or you’re a stay home mom, everyone needs some organization in their lives. It took me years to nail down my style. For me, I work the best when something is mandatory. It has to get done, like a scheduled meeting or call. So I will block off my calendar and color code assignments. I treat these “to do’s” as meetings, something I can’t push off. I also plan the hardest task (or most grueling – whatever I’m not looking forward to) first thing in the morning, so I can knock it out.
13: Find a work wife.
Work wife or wardroom wife. A “work wife” is a friend, a cohort, who knows exactly what you’re going through. You don’t want to get too codependent or constantly complain to each other, that doesn’t help anyone. But you do need to bond and laugh over the little things. Otherwise you will go crazy. Value these friendships all year round, not just when it’s deployment time. You don’t need to go through it alone.
14: Give yourself some credit.
These days, we move too fast. We work through big projects and just move onto the next without skipping a beat. Stop and give yourself some credit. Celebrate your hard work and let yourself feel that for a moment. Even if the project didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to – you survived it.
Life
15: Make your duty station home.
As military spouses, we are constantly on the move. For me, I’ve lived in two new duty stations in the last three years. It’s hard being away from friends and family back home, but it’s so important to give your new duty station a chance. Make it an adventure – learn the community, explore new restaurants, culture and things to do. My husband and I make a “bucket list” for every place we move to. This requires us to do a little research and discover new places. No matter how frustrating the orders might have been, do yourself a favor and be positive about it. You’ll be happier, I promise.
16: Get outside.
We are on screens every. single. day. Try to find time on the weekend to get outside – a hike, walk on the beach or trail. Breathe in fresh air, listen to wildlife, be present. Get away from all the noise, even if only for an hour or so.
17: Dress for your body.
Sometimes I look back at old photos from college and just cringe. There’s not enough of a grace period between high school and young adulthood. Simply put, dress for your body. Wear clothes that fit and flatter you. Invest in a good bra. Invest in good staples – like quality jeans, a good blazer, boots — stuff that won’t break after a few months. And good god, stop shopping at Forever 21.
18: Prioritize your debt.
If you were like me, six months after graduating college you received that lovely letter from the Department of Education. It is so overwhelming to suddenly be sitting on a mountain of debt with an entry level salary, to boot. Maybe you have some credit card debt. Do what you can and prioritize paying it off. The interest will only increase over time, and you’ll find yourself in an even worst position years down the road. I was in denial for years until I finally took control.
19: Register to vote (and care about local politics).
This one should be self-explanatory. You’re a tax-paying citizen now and you should care about your community. As a military spouse, it can be challenging picking up and moving from one place to the next. But I try to get involved in my local community and learn about the issues or struggles citizens face. Not registered to vote? Stop reading this post and go here.
20: Volunteer somewhere.
When I worked in California, my employer offered a Paid Volunteer Time benefit. I loved participating in special events – stocking food bank shelves, cleaning up our local beaches and preparing kits for our local chapter of the American Red Cross. I wish I would have started volunteering a long time ago, with or without an employer benefit.
What were some of your favorites from my list? Did anything resonate with you? I’d love to hear your best lessons.
