10. Military spouses should serve their partners.
I love making my husband dinner or giving him a nice back rub after a long day of work, but I do not serve my husband. We are in an equal partnership, as are many military couples, and we work as a team to grow our marriage stronger.
11. Military couples always enjoy the romantic homecoming.
The movies make homecomings seem like a fairytale, but as we’ve learned, reintegration after homecoming isn’t always easy on military marriages.
12. Every military couple marries young.
Military couples may marry younger than the typical civilian couple, but there are many military marriages that start later in life. Either way, it’s the couple’s decision, and outside judgments are rarely welcome.
13. Every military couple rushes into marriage.
Similar to the notion that every military couple marries young, there’s the assumption that we all rush into marriage. Many military couples were high school or even middle school sweethearts and have been together for years. Plus, those who did marry quickly aren’t destined for divorce.
14. Every military couple will face a deployment.
Some couples face dozens of deployments, and others skip out on deployments completely. Deployments depend on so many factors that it’s difficult to predict how many goodbyes to expect at the beginning of a marriage.
5. Military couples get to enjoy free housing.
Ah, if I could only count the number of times people have said, “Well, at least you don’t have to pay rent!” Not exactly true. Although military couples get a basic housing allowance (BAH), many service members aren’t taking home a huge paycheck, so it may or may not cover the entirety of rent or a mortgage.
16. Military spouses always complain (and should have known what they were “signing up for”).
Military spouses have every right to vent. It’s impossible to fully know what to expect when marrying a service member, and as a friend or family member of a military spouse, there’s no need to remind us that we “should have known.” We need empathy and a shoulder to cry on when times get tough, just like anyone else.
17. Military spouses just marry for the benefits.
To suggest that military spouses are leeching off of their partners for benefits or money is not only ignorant but also implies that we aren’t fully capable of finding jobs with benefits on our own. (By the way, we are.)
18. Military members just marry for the benefits.
On the flip-side of the previous myth is the notion that service members get married quickly for the benefits (i.e., contract marriages). While I can’t say contract marriages don’t exist, they’re certainly not the norm.
19. All military couples are super conservative.
I know military families who are liberal, conservative, religious, atheist and everything in between. Even living in the south, I’ve met people to the far left. We’re a diverse group when it comes to political and religious views.
20. Military marriage is simply doomed to fail.
Regardless of how many people perpetuate these silly or occasionally harmful myths about military marriages, we have the power to brush them off.
BOOM. Roasted.
