I second guessed myself at least 10 times any time a promotion rolled around. I wondered if the opportunity belonged to someone else who had been around longer and was hard working.
Until the day I heard someone say because I was new, there was no way I should qualify for a position that required three years of experience, even though I had 10 years of experience at other locations. That comment gave me the missing tool that I needed. At that moment, I decided to stop settling for the job that I had and to turn every job into an opportunity for my dream job.
Fast forward several years and I am grateful for the job that I have now, but there were times when I wondered if I would reach this point in my career. Meagerly waged jobs that barely covered the cost of childcare and gas, completing tasks that were nowhere close to what I wanted to do with my career, but I was loyal to my job and I stayed.
But I questioned my qualifications and worth. I wondered if military spouses were destined to experience unemployment and underemployment woes for the duration of their service member’s career. I didn’t see how I could have my happy place at work with great pay and awesome benefits, not as a military spouse.
I was comfortable with what I had, but I knew that there were jobs where I could have more than just comfort. The road of employment is not easy for us as military spouses, with the many changes, we have to find ways to grow and not settle, no matter how uncomfortable it may make us feel. PCSing has taught us at every new location, settle and adjust quickly, but I would like to say, don’t settle, not when it comes to your career. Don’t become comfortable, even with obstacles there are steps you can take to turn every job into your dream job.
Here is a quote to remember:
“Give everyone a chance who is interested in dating you, because you never know what may come of it. Worst-case scenario, you get practice for when you met the person you really want to marry.”
This quote was from my mom.
Yes this is dating advice that I received when I was young, and yes there are some technicalities, but, this advice is useful and so I decided to use it in my work life as well, and it works.
Following this advice, means not counting out opportunities just because they are not initially appealing. Following this advice means taking jobs and starting careers where you can grow professionally and find an opportunity to start working towards your dream job. It means not settling for a job “as is” just because it comes easily or naturally. Even after you find a job that meets your basic needs, dare to challenge yourself. Learn something new, look for other opportunities to excel and meet your career goals. Your dream job is out there, and it is attainable and here are five habits that can help you to stop settling.
1: Volunteer for events and activities outside of your scope of work.
If there is something that you would consider doing full time and your job has an opportunity to try it, do it and see how it works for you.
I have taken jobs because it gave me opportunity to transform my strengths and weaknesses and try something different. I look for jobs where the opportunity to explore other areas of interest are available. I have learned a lot about myself because I have tried a lot of things. I have also met some people (negative and positive) who are large influencers for my career path now.
A variety in experience is a great tool as a military spouse and if the opportunity is present, why not try it?
2: Keep applying for other jobs.
Even after you have a job that you are happy with, don’t be afraid to explore alternative options. Apply to jobs at other places that interest you. Even after I landed a promising job prospect I still applied to other positions. Applying to other jobs helped me to keep up with my resume writing skills and I got some interview practice.
Now some people might think that you are wasting an employer’s time. But, just because you’re not interested in the job when you apply doesn’t mean you won’t like the job after the interview. Interviewing affords an opportunity to network. There is so much that can come from applying to a job besides getting the job.
3: Hit the ground running.
Show your new employer everything you’ve got, early on.
A previous supervisor once told me that I had what it took to succeed but it took me too long to show my full potential; those words both stung and resonated with me.
It is easy to be timid about taking the lead on a project, or volunteering to create a new program especially if your co-workers have been there for years longer than you but that mind set can prevent you from reaching your fullest potential at that job. You have a limited time to be great before you relocate to your next duty station. Whenever you start a new job show your potential up front, it will make a huge difference.
4: Ask questions and bring value to others (Network).
There are opportunities that could be yours if you know about them. Take the time to get to know your co-workers and ask questions, even if you already know the answers. Start genuine conversations and allow others to talk, this will build rapport and trust.
5: Keep a timeline and stay positive.
Know that changing your mind about what you want to do next is normal. I have shifted my target job so many times, until I got confused as to what I wanted. I eventually got out of that mind set and got back on track, but it was because I knew I had a personal deadline to meet.
Let your mind explore, just remember that you need to keep a realistic perspective on when you plan to get something done. If you decide your current job won’t cut it, give yourself a set date when you plan to enact your backup plan, whether it’s another job, pursing education, or entrepreneurship. You will hopefully find a way to get a kick start on what your next move is.
Staying positive during this time by using experience as a motivator, negative and positive people affect you regardless. However, how they affect you is up to you. As much as I would love to return the favor to a person or two who is rude or condescending, I recognize that I can use any negative situation as an opportunity grow. So, I internally thank everyone for their assistance in helping me to be a better me.
Usually the goal after arriving at new duty station is to get settled and adjust quickly. However, I want to challenge you not to settle when it comes to your career. You never know where the next duty station will take you and what experience you will be useful for your dream job, so keep your mind open to making every job your dream job and don’t settle.
