2. You always have mutual friends with new people, but it’s totally unsurprising.
I’m sure almost every military spouse can attest to this: That moment when you add a new milspouse friend on Facebook, and suddenly realize that your friend from your last duty station was their main squeeze when they were a new spouse.
This really hit me when the “Love Your Spouse” challenge became popular on Facebook:
A friend of mine tagged a family friend. And then another. A part of me wanted to message her, “How do you know ___?” (with perhaps a hundred exclamation marks), but a bigger part had more chill; of course, OF COURSE they knew each other.
At university, this happened a couple of times — friends from different parts of my life happening to know one another — and each time, it was a *huge* deal. Now that I’m firmly planted in the milspouse life, it’s not in the least.
In my case, it rounds right back to that old cliche: “It’s a small Marine Corps.” But, whichever branch your spouse belongs to, the longer the career, the more this happens — and it’s totally “whatever.”
3. You become used to the phenomenon of on-base gyms.
When I first moved to a military base, fresh off the boat from my home country, I was obviously a little mind blown by a lot of stuff. Perhaps most of all, though, was the gym.
No, really. Think about it from an outsider’s perspective.
You’re used to it now, but where else do you stroll into a gym to find it packed with groups of huge men, all in the same clothes (and sometimes in uniform) stretching out after a grueling HIIT workout?
Back at home, my local gym was a casual mish-mash of usuals: Young Insta-fit women, pimply teens, the token old dude with the flannel headband.
Now? When I stroll into the gym before work (6 a.m., aka rush hour), it’s a test fest.
… And don’t even get me started on how my girlfriends from home gawped when they saw this first-hand.
What’s become totally normal to us is, in fact, a single lady’s vision of heaven.
4. You become used to another type of traffic hold-up.
I’m from a rural town, so I’m 100 percent used to being held up by farmers herding cattle (or, y’know, just normal traffic).
On this here military base?
Sure, there are traffic hold-ups (woe betide ye who enter through the main gate at 7 a.m.). But I’m talking about something different altogether: Processions of tanks, LAVs and most agonizing of all — company hikes.
While my friends at home twiddle their thumbs while the last of the cows amble into the next field, I’m here bashing my head against the steering wheel because I took a wrong turn and now I’ve been stuck behind a 100-foot-long line of Marines.
Who, by the way, do not give way to traffic.
(But who, unlike cows, DO at least give a nod of appreciation in your direction.)
5. Company functions on company functions.
Now, forgive me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure if my husband had a generic office job, it wouldn’t be expected of me to band together with the other spouses of his coworkers, join a company spouse club or attend semi-regular functions — from bunco to balls — with the office clan.
Military life? Dude, duh.
I’m fully aware it’s not mandatory to participate in all the — dare I say it — “forced family fun,” but knowing that it boosts community spirit DEFINITELY pushed me out of my previous comfort zone and into another.
I know that forming cordial relationships with his fellow Marines, and closer ones with their spouses, is a key element in the military lifestyle.
Relaying this to my civilian friends is trickier, though, for sure.
And I’m pretty certain that apologies on the reg for not being able to attend that dinner date/baby shower/bachelorette party with your non-military gal pals because it’s ball season, or homecoming or a spouse club meeting is ALL too familiar for most.
6. Your friend group becomes so diverse (and it’s awesome).
Alright, maybe I’m the only one here when I say that in my civilian life, I tend to be friends with people of a similar age group, with similar interests to me. Buuut I bet I’m not the only one — right?
Out here in the sticks (yes, we live on a remote military base) I’ve met so many different people, and I now have a seriously diverse little #girlsquad.
I’m friends with enlisted spouses and officer spouses (who cares, after all?) I have friends who are 50 and friends who just turned 21. I have friends who are foreign, friends who have several children and friends who just happen to live in this town.
And one thing’s for sure: It’s fantastic!
Although I didn’t imagine myself hanging out with people old enough to be my parents, or people who I could mistake for my younger siblings, I’ve learned that it really DOESN’T matter.
And while that may be strange to my non-military gal pals, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Have we missed some awkward milspouse moments?! Let us know in the comments!
