For the last fifteen years, I have lost countless hours day dreaming about this elusive “forever” house.
I’d imagine what it would feel like to buy furniture specifically to fit a particular nook or corner, knowing that I would never have to shift it or “make it work” in a space it wasn’t meant for. I fancied the idea of painting my kitchen cobalt blue, without a thought of having to prime over it before yet another move. I envisioned window treatments that are custom made for the number of windows this house would have. All in all, in my head, the prospect of purchasing my dream house would be perfect.
Or so I thought…
The military, like it usually does, had other plans regarding the seamless and satisfying process of house shopping. It is not seamless, or satisfying. Instead, the process is stressful and anxiety ridden.
Buying a home in the midst of military life is one thing. It is quite another to juggle purchasing real estate, while your husband is in and out of field exercises, during a global pandemic, and with a swiftly approaching (short notice) unaccompanied PCS. Boo.
This experience is not the fun-filled and thrilling endeavor that I had imagined it would be.
It all began with short notice PCS orders. At the beginning of June, my husband was notified that he would be sent overseas for a year…without us. He would be leaving in the early fall, so we began to scramble to figure out where we would live, if we would rent, and whether or not we should buy a house.
After receiving follow on orders (the place we would be sent to after his year-long station elsewhere) to the base we had been longing to get back too, we decided to buy a house.
The first few attempts were bumpy. With on-going travel restrictions and “the Rona” messing up the world, we viewed several houses virtually.
I shamelessly have to plug our amazing military spouse realtor, Crystal Boggs of Next Home Home Front, that we found through MilHousing Network (She’s the actual best!).
Our realtor carefully video-recorded the first three houses and answered her phone every time I frantically called about a new listing. One had some seriously crazy floors. Another had termites. And let’s not talk about the one that an immense amount of wood paneling. The search has been interesting, to say the least.
But, upon reflection, the fact that we have lived in 10 different houses in the last 15 years might have set me up for some unrealistic expectations when it came to settling down. I thought about all of the memories that we made in all of the places that we have lived- forgetting most of the unpleasantness that surrounded the moves.
The fact is that I didn’t focus on all the tumultuous events that swept through all of our other beginnings. Buying our “forever” home will be no different. I won’t remember all the houses that weren’t for us, or the hardship in house shopping via video chat.
What I will remember, hopefully many years from now, will be climbing into my new favorite reading chair at the end of move in day. Or, seeing my kid’s faces as they sprint through a new house, exploring all its nooks and crannies. Maybe it will be the first family Christmas, tree and all.
Maybe, just maybe, if I changed my perspective on the tough times and let go of the high expectations of perfection, I might be able to survive this season with my joy intact.
In the meantime, the day dreaming continues. I’m planning on putting in built-in book shelves – lots and lots of books shelves.
Megan Brown is a seasoned military spouse and military missionary. She is the Military Liaison for the Speak Up Conference Global Missions Military Scholarship and the 2019-Armed Forces Insurance Robins AFB Military Spouse of the Year. She is passionate about military mission work and teaching and preaching about Jesus in and out of the local church. Her Bible study, “Esther: Come Out of Hiding,” published by Moody Publishers in Chicago, will release in April 2021. She lives in middle Georgia with her husband, Keith, and their energetic kiddos. She is a Bible teacher, speaker, and freelance writer. To learn more or connect with Megan, visit www.meganbbrown.com.
