Your servicemember has spent months, sometimes years, preparing to do a job… and that job is to participate and fight in armed conflicts to support and defend The United States of America. It is easy when they are home every night for dinner… to forget what their job really entails. It is easy when they are cuddled up next to you in bed at night… to forget that they are trained for life in a sleeping bag or the dirt. And it is easy when they are playing barbies with their daughter… to forget that they are trained to fight and, if necessary, kill.
It is 100% normal for them to be excited about finally getting the chance to put their hard work, training and skill to good use. Your husband’s excitement doesn’t mean that he is not madly in love with you. It doesn’t mean that he won’t miss you every single day. It is not a sign that your marriage is anything less than rock solid.
In addition to being ready to do the job at hand, he is probably detaching from you. This is also normal. When a servicemember or spouse is anticipating a long absence, there is a tendency to push away from their partner. It is a self-protection mechanism, plain and simple. It is so much easier to say goodbye to someone who you are less attached to, right?
Actually, detachment and excitement are both vital parts of preparing for the mission. The military trains troops for optimum performance, so that they can be the very best at their job, and so that the military is their primary focus. They do not train them to be sensitive to their spouse’s feelings, or to be the best husband… that is not their job. It doesn’t mean that someone in the military is incapable of those things… but it means that they should be able to direct their focus to the job at hand at the appropriate time. Like, when they are preparing for a deployment.
