A deployment does not begin when you say your final goodbye. It begins the moment the servicemember gets word that they are leaving. The emotional cycles, the preparation for battle, the anticipation and excitement starts at that very moment. The reality is that you and your husband probably had your very last meaningful moment as a married couple weeks ago. As hard as it is to hear, your husband is already deployed in many ways… despite the fact that your living room is still exploding with gear.
And that is exactly how it should be. I don’t know about you, but when my husband gets on that bus, I don’t want him pining away after me, no matter how special that would make me feel. When that bus turns the corner and we have waved our last goodbye, I do not want to be the most important thing in his life anymore. I want the number one focus to be his job, the mission, and the safe return of everyone he is deploying with.
No matter how he may be acting on the outside, he just left the comfort of his home, everything he knows, and his WIFE… to head into a COMBAT ZONE. He already has the weight of the world on his shoulders. He is already worried about how I will manage on my own. He is worried about the house, the kids, his parents… and he is worried about going to war. Giving him any kind of guilt about the way I am feeling in the weeks leading up to his departure is not only completely unfair, but it is potentially dangerous.
Part of being a military spouse is sometimes being able to support your servicemember, even when every fiber of your being is screaming that it is unjust, terrifying and that YOU are being hurt in the process.
