My advice to you is to start the process of preparing for your own battle… yesterday. Take a long, hot shower tonight and cry your eyeballs out, because you may really NEED to do that… and that is also very normal. It is okay to take a moment to grieve the time you will lose with your husband. It is okay to sob out of frustration because a huge part of your life is completely out of your control. It is okay to feel sorry for yourself.
And then dry off, pull on your big girl panties… and figure out what mission YOU are going to accomplish while he is gone.
How are you, as a grown woman, going to use this as an opportunity to improve your life? Do you want to go back to school? Do you want to learn a new skill? Do you want to start your own business? Do you want to volunteer and make a change in your community? Do you want to lose 50 pounds? Do you want to finally run that 10K?
Whatever it is, start putting the plan of action in place now before he leaves. Sign up for the classes, get your gym membership, write your business plan, or set a date to run that 10K. Then, when you drop him off and say that final goodbye… do whatever you need to do… cry, scream, pitch a fit… then learn something from your husband and focus on the mission at hand.
I had a friend once tell me that when her husband deploys, she gets up a few hours early that morning. She strips the bed and washes all the bedding, then puts it on the top shelf of the linen closet. She then replaces the bedding with a new set she bought just for her. Maybe it is zebra stripes with pink satin sheets… you know, something her husband would NEVER agree to having in the bedroom. That way when she gets back from dropping him off, even though her instinct is to throw herself on the bed and smell the pillow he slept on the night before while sobbing till she pukes… when she gets home she sees the bedspread SHE picked out, and is reminded that she is a strong, independent woman who has something to accomplish during this deployment.
You can do this! And more importantly, he NEEDS you to do this. If he can march those combat boots right onto that plane, free from guilt, and confident that his wife is in control and 100% capable of owning this deployment… you will have given him a great gift. You will have been an integral part in making sure he is mission ready and able to serve his country to the best of his ability.
Have a question for Sally? You can contact her at sallyspouse@milspouse.com
