Here’s a lesson on that naughty little “a” word: Assumptions.
Up until now all these emotions have gone unspoken. Both your minds have wandered in directions and corridors that resemble “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.”
Assuming that your spouse is acting a certain way because he or she feels a certain way can lead to paths of literal despair.
Talk to your spouse.
Tell them how you are feeling, but even more importantly ask how THEY are feeling.
Honesty, especially at a particularly fragile time, it’s not always the easiest approach.
But when we have those difficult conversations with our loved ones, miraculous things can happen.
It happened for me on a drive to the gas station when the silence could have been sliced with a knife. My inner Cher made a center stage debut and I finally got all my emotions out on the table.
The best part, my husband did too.
After we talked, our last few days together before his last deployment were much more emotionally productive and rewarding.
Well into his deployment I mentioned something to my friend about my experience and she busted out in her own song. She thought she was alone in feeling that way too.
You aren’t alone.
No matter the degree of scariness you’ve deemed those emotions you’re feeling, I promise that someone else has felt them too, and often times that “someone” is your deploying spouse.
Have courage and talk about your concerns and allow your partner to do the same. This journey is not an easy one, but when we do hard things we reap grand rewards.
Hold your head high fellow spouse. We’re here for you.
Sincerely,
Your Cheerleader
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