Grahame was 14 months old when I took him in for an appointment to discuss developmental delay, specifically autism. Grahame loved looking at objects intently, crawled in patterns repetitively, loved to get a different angle of lights, struggled with unexpected sounds, and needed support with communication. He craved vestibular movement, and would often be found sprinting around the table or being swung around by my husband or myself. He thrived off routine, so much so, that he was an extremely easy baby and toddler. Thankfully, his doctor did not dismiss my concerns, and instead gave me information for Early Intervention as well as developmental pediatricians.
After getting in touch with Early Intervention, Grahame received an evaluation that led to him needing to see two therapists a week: an occupational therapist and developmental interventionist. I was told that Grahame essentially got so “fixated” on objects that he wasn’t able to look past them and see me or my husband teaching him skills. During the evaluation however, they did suggest to me that I look into getting Grahame into seeing a developmental pediatrician. Looking back now, I believe they saw what I was seeing: autism. While Grahame began his therapies with Early Intervention with some of the BEST therapists with whom we still are in contact with today, I began researching various developmental pediatricians, calling to get on their waitlists (so long!!), and listening intently on what the therapists were doing so that I could continue to implement them during the week.
Finally after months of sitting on the waitlist, we got an appointment for June of 2021. The appointment went as they always do: a billion questions about Grahame, what he does, or doesn’t do. The psychologist agreed that Grahame’s characteristics matched up with autism, but that a formal assessment would need to take place. This assessment required another wait, but Tim was deploying soon and while I was aware of the likely diagnosis and had been advocating for Grahame for the past 7 months, I still wanted my husband there. By the grace of God, the psychologist had a soft spot for military families, and moved the assessment to July 1st, 2021: 5 days before my husband deployed.
Along came assessment day, and at the end the psychologist looked at my husband and I and said, “I believe based on today’s assessment and the information you have given me prior, Grahame is on the autism spectrum.” Gut punch. But why? I already knew. But I hadn’t heard from anyone but my own voice yet. We did the next steps: enrolled him into EFMP, got more therapies, and learned as we went along. We contacted ECHO, Tricare’s route of covering some extra therapies and providing incontinence materials for Grahame. We listened to autistic adult experiences. I followed all the social media accounts I could, like @meaningfulspeech and @mrsspeechiep. I wanted to learn. I wanted to advocate. Since then, we have learned that Grahame is a gestalt language processor, an entirely different way of learning and developing language. Grahame is thriving. He is talking a lot! He loves to share facts about the planets, loves to lead prayer at the dinner table, loves to jump from the couch to the crash pad, and loves to play with his baby sister.
The diagnosis process, while long and difficult, led us to understanding Grahame’s beautiful autistic mind. While the learning will be lifelong, I take comfort in knowing that these were the first vital steps that took place to set Grahame up for success.
