That’s not to say that I am romanticizing or trivializing this “position.” Being the wife of a Marine is going to take me to hell and back. It is going to push our relationship to its limits — far more than ever before. I am going to worry. I am going to feel alone. And I am going to have to get on with my life and career while my husband is in danger.
But that’s the way it is. Ultimately, I chose to marry Killian because I love him, and the Corps is so much a part of who he is that I have come to love it, too. I am no longer the excited 19-year-old that swooned over him on uniform days. I’ve had a long time to come to terms with what’s expected of him in his career, and what will be expected of me, too. I want to play my part and I have accepted the fact that it won’t be like the metaphorical walk in the park.
I have thought and thought about how best to describe this, and ultimately I keep returning to Killian’s mother’s favorite mantra: “hold fast.” The worst is yet to come, but the good will always outweigh the bad. I will get on with my own life while my husband gets on with his, and whatever happens: I will keep on getting up in the morning. The osmosis effect was inevitable, I guess; his ardent ambition has become implanted within my own soul, too.
It has brought out a dogged determination in me, one that is unlike anything I have felt before. I am determined to continue trawling through the very worst times — when he has been gone for months with little contact, when I make sacrifices in my own career in order to follow his — because I love him, because I’m his wife, and because I want to support the amazing work he is going to be doing in this world. And I’ll keep on supporting him.
To marry a Marine is to marry the Marine Corps, too. It’s an intrinsic part of who my husband is, and it will shape our lives for many years to come. Semper Fidelis is the USMC motto for a reason: It pertains to anyone affiliated with the Corps, be they on the front line or first in line to welcome home the troops. To remain ever faithful to the life I’ve chosen is the only option, and it’s one that I have decided to fully embrace.
