My PCS Identity Crisis

Here are some ideas:

1. Research. Search for (or contribute to) tips and tricks to make the preparation and the move go as smoothly as possible. These tips are from families who have experienced positive and negative PCS moves and can give you the up-to-date details on cities, duty stations, houses, people, religions, communities, shopping, and the best hole-in-the-wall Mexican joint that won’t leave you feeling a little queasy. This information is valuable – gold nuggets in a treasure trove for a military family. Be cautious, but use other’s experiences to help you get a footing on your new life.
2. Get involved. The best way to make new friends and become a force for good in your community is to volunteer. Service, in my very real experience, reduces anxiety-based tendencies, such as jealousy and selfishness (and I know those tendencies well). And, luckily, the spectrum of volunteer activities is wide open. Schools need aides and helpers; cities need coaches, board members, and scout leaders. City council seats need to be filled, voting booths need volunteers, opinions need lobbied and fought for. You have a place (big or small) in your community, and doing your part will cement a part of your character.
3. Adapt, but be yourself. The ability to be flexible, to adapt to a new culture’s way of life is a remarkable skill. Some possess it naturally; for others, it must be learned, and it’s a difficult lesson. Sometimes in the twists and turns of embedding ourselves in a new culture, we compromise or lose the integral components that make us who we are. For example, before our 2010 move, we had hailed from an area where one of my talents was fresh and new, but when we had moved, we landed in a community where that same talent was standard, commonplace. I was no longer a big fish in a small sea but was instead a minnow in an ocean of other minnows. I felt like my work and my creativity were lost in a sea of people who were just like one another, and I soon felt as if I blended into everyone else. My individuality was lost. As I began to adapt to that environment, I saw that even though we had similar interests and levels of talent, I found a niche that belonged to me and, further, I worked hard to discover other talents and abilities that have blessed my life heavily.

The PCS move is often a looming cloud of the unknown, and that may never change. It will be hard. It will be uncomfortable. It may be long. But there is beauty in the sky in and above the rainclouds. There is power in change. There is progression in beating the uncomfortable. Just remember: Your most important asset in this PCS is YOU.