Ready to Mingle?
Depending on your servicemembers rank, there are events you will and won’t be invited to. Many of the nicer, high-budget events or parties are geared toward upper ranking servicemembers and their spouses. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of things you can do as a spouse of a Junior servicemember, if you love carnivals! There are all types of family events you can attend on your post where rank or fraternization isn’t a concern. Some posts offer Junior servicemember and spouse events that don’t involve a lot of children. Check out the Strong Bonds Marriage Retreats! They are arranged by the servicemember’s Chaplain. It’s a free mini vacay, you can get to know other spouses, and you get to learn ways to better your marriage. Best of all… Free childcare! Yes, you heard me right, most Strong Bonds retreats offer free childcare while you attend the sessions.
Parking Spot? Why yes, Please!
If your spouse possesses enough rank, you may be privileged to park closer to building entrances. Which, in places like Alaska, Minot, or Fort Drum, it can be the difference between warm Starbucks life or death by frost bite! Just imagine driving to the commissary, oh look there’s a spot near the entrance! Just kidding! There are about 50 reserved spots before you find one free that isn’t assigned to someone, somewhere. There are handicapped spots, mother with infant spots, volunteer of the month spots, FRG Leader spots, General Officer spots, Command Sargent Major spots, I think, I even saw a parking spot for my dog SGT Cuddles, if I’m not mistaken. But look at it this way, if you can’t park in any of those spots, you may be in better shape!
Let’s be Friends
Honestly, there are no rules to friendships for military spouses. No matter your spouse’s rank, you can be friends with whoever you want. Unfortunately, many spouses, both with upper and lower ranking servicemembers, have an unfounded belief that they can only associate with spouses whose servicemembers hold a similar rank. This isn’t true. If a General’s spouse wants to invite a PFC’s spouse to an event, she has every right to do that.
I can hear it now… “But protocol!” Protocol only suggest who should be invited to certain events based on rank, but it does not specifically say to exclude any spouse. Can we just end the age-old rank wars? Let’s just be friends. This life is hard enough, creating boundary lines based on rank, only makes our lives a little bit harder.
I totally get it, a spouse whose servicemember has been in the military for 25 years, will conduct themselves differently than a spouse whose husband has been in for two year. But, so what. Let’s embrace our differences and help each other grow.
If you are that spouse of 25 years, show the new spouse what military life is like and how to thrive!
If you are that new spouse, learn from those who do great things. If you are hesitant to participate in things because another new spouse told you what she heard, you are going to miss out! There are a lot of amazing opportunities for all of us. Who you choose to associate with, will determine how you are perceived in this life. Judgmental? Maybe, but we all are. Tell me you’ve never had an opinion about what someone else has done, worn, or said.
There is a good life out there for all spouses, no matter your servicemember’s rank. Some lives may seem better than others. Life is what you make it and if don’t get out there and experience all the things, you will miss out! Yes, Rank Matters, but you will meet those spouses that won’t care about your servicemember’s rank or theirs.
Life can be a Whole Foods avocado or a Commissary avocado, the choice is yours…
