That doesn’t mean unpleasant experiences regarding rank haven’t happened. We have all heard the stories. Many of you reading this will recall a bad story from a friend, or perhaps yourself, and my lack of personal experience with this situation in no way negates the experiences of anyone else.
But it does make me wonder if the ‘Rank Wars’ have become an urban legend of sorts in our community and if WE are the ones continuing them by sharing stories and making assumptions.
The reality is that unless someone flat-out says, “I refuse to be seen with you because your husband isn’t a certain rank” or “Do you know who I am?” (followed by an announcement of the rank of their service member), we don’t honestly know what might cause someone to behave a certain way. I frequently hear that so-and-so thinks they are better than someone because of rank, or that they don’t like to hang out with certain people because of rank, or that they feel entitled because of rank.
But we can’t know that for certain. People of all walks of life think they are better than so-and-so, don’t like to hang out with particular groups, or feel entitled. The military spouse community doesn’t own that.
I have to wonder what would happen if we all decided not to talk about it anymore. If we would just look at bad behavior from others in our community as isolated incidents, or if we would just consider that it has more to do with their personality and not rank…would the ‘rank wars’ just fade into the past where they belong?
It is certainly something worth considering.
And if someone ever does ask you that dreaded question, “Do you KNOW who I am?” Wouldn’t it be great to put on a smile and ask right back, “No, but I would love to get to know you. Let’s have coffee sometime and you can tell me all about the incredible person you are!”
It’s worth a shot…
I want more articles like this: 35 Ways MilSpouse Life Has Changed
