My husband missed the birth of our son and every single one of his birthdays since then. We haven’t been together to celebrate my husband’s own birthday in three years, and have only been together for one of our seven wedding anniversaries. My family asked me what we were going to do to celebrate our five-year anniversary, the one he was home for, and we simply said we’d wake up next to each other and say “hello.” That would be different and enough.
My kids know this deployment is coming, but we still don’t understand why we have to go through it again, why we are destined to be in the fleet for a continuous six years. Other friends of ours are on the legendary, non-deployable B-billets. My husband is good at his job, and like the six other veteran pilots in our squadron gearing up for their third back to back deployment, very tired.
He has gotten the toughest qualifications, awards and nothing but praise from his direct superiors. I am left asking the question, “Why are they being punished for excelling in their field while others are allowed to leave?” I don’t know the answer to this question, but I do know the result. The top pilots in the Marine Corps are resigning their commissions because the Marine Corps is making them choose between their careers and their families. They simply cannot continue at this pace.
Another result of this operations tempo is that Marines with less desirable records are staying in and picking up command slots that in earlier years would have gone to someone better rounded. I can’t help but assume this is the reason so many commanding officers (COs) are being relieved of duty in the aviation community.
Don’t get me wrong, there are still amazing COs and leaders.
Our current one and his wife deserve this position and have done nothing but uphold the standards the Marine Corps expects out of them, but more and more, there are COs that act like tyrants. My husband recently lost 24 unused days of leave (lost, not paid back) due to a former CO who would hold it against anyone who utilized his or her earned leave. My husband took one day off in two years for our daughter’s surgery in 2013 and was punished and removed from a prestigious school opportunity. Shortly after, it leaked through a friend that I had a phone interview for a job out of state and this same CO had my husband counseled by every single Major in our squadron.
It’s not right, and it’s not OK.
I can see that the Marine Corps is finally starting to realize the consequences of the tempo imposed upon the aviation community. Unfortunately, the Marine Corps has also taught me that change does not come quickly or easily to our community. It has to start somewhere and sadly I don’t believe we will see an improvement in our lifestyle in enough time to salvage the life we love.
I’m not writing this for pity or to prove how hard life is within the aviation community as compared to other units, branches, or services. I can only speak from what I know and I am positive this issue is felt military wide under all billets and types of service. I can only put my words out there and hope they make a difference.
