Something about that first contact immediately made me start to release some of the fear and doubt. I will always be thankful to that Sailor for being my friend and catalyst into military life.
Beyond that first contact, was an entire Battalion of sailors, both enlisted and officers, and their spouses who, without reservation, invited me into the military family- and I haven’t looked back.
I jumped in to volunteer with the Family Readiness Group and was quickly voted in as Board President. We did a lot of good work to support the families of the command. And that work is what brought me to the where I am today.
The personal histories of LGBT military families are full of tragic and painful years of hiding, decades of fear and a lifetimes full of facing hatred. The LGBT community fought hard for equality and that isn’t anything new.
We are a nation that is built on long fought battles for progress. It’s how we roll.
While there are still some policies that need to be updated, the bulk of the Department of Defense’s equality initiatives are in full swing. Operation ‘Change Hearts and Minds’ is peaking at it’s success.
So, what’s next?
Being unique is always a great attribute in humanity. All of us should be proud of who we are and what we bring to the collective table. But, let’s imagine for a moment wherein an LGBT military spouse can be recognized for his or her contributions to the military community, without the headline reading, “HERE YE HERE YE, GAY MAN IS RECOGNIZED AS A MILITARY SPOUSE, READ ALL ABOUT IT HERE.”
Let’s celebrate diversity, of course.
But how about we work together to change the conversation to where a person’s sexual orientation doesn’t have to be the focal point.
We should never stop fighting for equality, but don’t you think it might be time we all start actually using that hard fought equality for the purpose it was intended?
I am proud of the person that I have become and the work that I do.
I am proud of the community of family and friends that helped shape me into who I am.
But guess what world … I am so much more than a GAY MAN!
I have a career in real estate, I am an uncle, brother, son, friend and total patriot. (You should see our house around the 4th of July!)
And I am a military spouse, but holy cow can I be known as a military spouse and not a gay military spouse.
Let’s make that happen. Or in the very least, can I be known as the tall, dark and handsome military spouse? (A guy can dream)
Brian L. Alvarado is a military spouse stationed at Naval Base Point Loma in San Diego, California. He is a real estate executive, gadget geek, amateur kitchen genius, and self proclaimed style icon. But mostly, he is a proud husband to his Boatswain’s Mate 1st Class Petty Officer. You can reach him via twitter at @boinsd.
