1. Let go of expectations
Most of us military spouses or significant others had some expectations when first falling for a service member. For instance, I thought I would make friends immediately and find a strong community with little effort, but quickly came to find that forming relationships in the military would take effort.
Adjusting to the lifestyle will go much smoother by first letting go of expectations for the future, like how often they’ll be home, or how quickly the deployments will start.
As any spouse or S.O. of a service member will quickly point out, the military is all about embracing the unexpected, and realizing that early on will help ease the disappointments or surprises the military will throw at you and your partner.
2. Remember, a ring isn’t everything
There’s a lot of pressure on significant others of military members to get married and do it quickly, but marriage isn’t for everyone- and is not something that should be rushed into.
My husband and I were only dating a year when we decided to get married, but I would have moved to be with him either way, because I trusted that we had made a commitment to each other.
Don’t let other people make you believe you need a ring to be with your service member. And come to the decision to say “I do” on your own terms.
3. Keep your own identity
The reality for many significant others of service members is that there’s going to be a lot of alone time. The military is demanding with long hours, longer deployments, and little time off in between.
Being part of the military community can be a wonderful experience, but it shouldn’t consume your whole identity.
What’s helped me adapt to the lifestyle the most is continuing to pursue my own interests, work towards my career goals and find friends outside of my marriage.
4. Don’t let other people bring you down
At the end of the day, your experience as a S.O. is going to be different from everyone else’s. Sure, it can be helpful to read articles and join Facebook groups, but people’s experiences are subjective, and what someone else hates about being a military S.O. or spouse, you may find appealing, and vice versa.
It’s a fun time to be a new S.O. of a military member, so enjoy it, and find out how to make it work for you.
