I’ve always believed that unique was a good quality, one to be sought after. Following your own heart and desires, even when that looks different than everyone else. Military life has always been unique from civilian life. But I think I can speak for all spouses when I say no one wants to find themselves in the middle of a spouse’s briefing, being told by the commander that their installation is in a “unique” situation.
This word that once held positive thoughts, now stained by hardship. Because what unique means now is that we are in uncharted territory. Life is about to get much harder, and no one is quite sure what that looks like. It’s uncertain. The things that we’ve done in the past to cope with the stress of military life won’t quite work in this situation. Yet the responsibilities remain the same.
We handle school runs.
We cook meals.
We clean.
We work.
We do what years of practice have taught us to do – handle one day, one hour, one minute at a time. There is no planning. There is only the next thing. And we keep going because there isn’t a better alternative.
Most of all, we support our fellow spouses with honesty, not platitudes.
What leadership calls unique, we call stressful. Not to complain, not to make it worse than it is, but to call it what it is. Being honest that something is difficult doesn’t make it more difficult, it validates the struggle. It makes it okay to admit when you need help. Trying to hide challenge behind positivity merely trivializes the situation. We don’t need to be coddled. We need the truth.
This situation is unprecedented. There are a lot of unknowns. This will most likely be hard for a while. There are resources you can utilize.
When we know what we’re up against, it’s easier to weather the storm.
Friend, if you are also experiencing a challenging time, you do not have to pretend everything is fine. Be honest with yourself and those around you. There is freedom in truth. Only once we’re honest can we truly begin to move forward.
