I’ll only take 2 seconds to bore you with what you already know or have experienced.
- We travel.
- Our kids didn’t grow up around our families.
So as a result of those two things our families were more than excited to surround our twin girls with love and gifts on their birthday. This happened to be the FIRST birthday they got to spend with all of their cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents.
It was weirdly entertaining watching our extended family have all the anticipation of a boyfriend who’s bought the perfect ring and is just waiting to ask a girl to choose him forever.
Yea…it was that intense!
I received countless calls of what the perfect gift for them might be. My response every time, “They’ll just be excited to be around all of you. Get something small and don’t sweat it!”
The big day came and we partied hard. And just like I predicted, our girls got the biggest kick out of simply taking turns hula-hooping with different relatives and showing off their skills.
I was ready to cut the cake and bag up the gifts, but then I heard some commotion in the next room.
I peaked around the corner to see that my sisters had pulled two red chairs into the center of the room for my girls to sit in. One by one the gift givers came forward, took a picture with the birthday girls, handed their gift over, and waited to see their reactions. I had this weird feeling like I was at a baby shower!
Hubby and I cringed, but we let it ride. Not for our girls…but for our families. This was obviously important to them.
Then IT happened…legs crossed, hands on knees, she said with authority, “Who’s NEXT?!!”
This didn’t come from an adult hostess in the room, but from MY KID!
Who does she think she is, ungrateful little…
So we paused the show and gave our little princesses a quick parenting chat about having gratitude and expressing appreciation. We made sure they knew that no one has to give them ANYTHING.
Without many words exchanged at all, my husband and I knew what needed to be done next.
No more huge gifts for a while. Major cutbacks on random unnecessary items I would buy them until they learned to be appreciative.
We are even going to cancel CHRISTMAS!
Not the traditions of decorating or celebrating Christ’s birth.
BUT NO GIFTS!! They were going to GIVE rather than looking for it all to be GIVEN to them.
We weren’t angry with our kids. Children are selfish in general because they are born with us running to them if they cry and going the extra mile to make them happy. But it was time for them to learn a real life lesson. Their ungratefulness had been bothering us for a while so we decided to actively address it.
We spoke with them daily about what was required of us as parents’ and what was just icing on the cake. We backed it up with actions.
Then something GREAT happened. They LEARNED!
They began to say Thank You for everyday things.
“Mommy, Thank you for making dinner!”
“Thank you for the ice cream.”
“Thank you for taking us to the play area.”
“Thank you for cutting our sandwich, mommy.”
Those two words meant so much and warmed my heart every time they said it. We could tell they were finally starting to understand.
Can you say PARENTING WIN?!!
So Christmas is back ON.
Everyone has their own way of celebrating the holiday, but for us gifts aren’t the main focus. However, we’ve decided to give them a few while also finding opportunities for them to give to less fortunate kids.
