Get comfortable with the uncomfortable
Just as we chatted about earlier, perpetuating lasting change requires the necessity of breaking through mental barriers of what was “once” and what is “now.” Health and fitness guru Jillian Michaels is queen of challenging the invisible line of the comfort zone: “If you don’t get uncomfortable,” she says, “nothing’s going to ever change.” Truer words and all that, Jill. Except she always tells me that in the same part of my workout video when I’m crumpled in a heap on the floor.
In order to get comfortable with the uncomfortable, we need to break down our fears into tangible elements. Here’s an example:
My four-year-old daughter notoriously catapults herself into a right old state when the sight of whatever disgusting thing I’ve made for dinner graces her meal plate. I was tired of it and had better things to do (like watch Call the Midwives, duh) than to make a dinner that my daughter would not eat. Instead of starving her (‘cause we all frown on that), I invited her to participate in the meal-making. She saw, poured, measured, handled, and stirred every component of that night’s meal, and when the time came to sample her handiwork, she licked the bowl because she thought it was thumbs-up delicious.
My point: In order for my little darlin’ to become familiar with and less afraid of her nightly meal, we had to break it apart into recognizable and unintimidating objects. When she saw that nothing was so scary after all, she became more willing to slowly (very, very slowly) try new things.
Here’s where to start: Take the change you want to make and break it apart into hopes and fears, advantages and disadvantages, benefits and detriments. Separate your “ingredients” until they become components recognizable to you. When you feel like the pros of changing outweigh the cons, this list now has your specific fears and disadvantages that you can begin to tackle. Begin with the easier tasks and attack the more difficult ones after you’ve experienced some success. Those who make lists such as these, asserts Watson and Tharp, are more likely to be successful in their pursuit of establishing lasting change.
