5 Friends Every Military Spouse Should Have

Most military families don't have the luxury of living in the same neighborhood, town, state, or sometimes country as their extended families or close friends. It can sometimes make for some lonely days...especially when your service member is deployed or gone for an extended period of time. When my husband re-enlisted and we moved to our first duty station, I was pregnant with my first daughter. I felt like I was the size of a house, I was new to military life, and quite frankly I was scared to pieces. For the first time, I was a 12-hour drive from all my family and friends. And although I always considered myself a friendly person, I was not in a rush to get out in this new world and make a group of girlfriends. When training took my husband away time and time again, I felt lonely and depressed. It was a difficult time. Eventually, I did make a few friends, and when that first deployment to Iraq in 2003 came, they were my lifeline. Thus began the valuable lesson about making friends in the military. I found out very quickly that a major key to thriving (and not just surviving ) life as a military spouse would be some key friendships. I truly believe there are 5 friends that every military spouse NEEDS to have in his/her life. If you are really lucky you will have a few who fit into several or all of these categories at once: 5) A MENTOR I once heard someone say, "If you do not desire to become more like a person, be wary of taking their advice." I have lots of friends who may have lifestyles I wouldn't choose. They have a different set of beliefs or even very different ideas about life in general. I enjoy their company, we have a great time together and I cherish their role in my life. But they may not be the folks I turn to for advice or when I am looking for inspiration or motivation. A good mentor is someone who is in a place you hope to be someday. They're willing to share with you the truth about their journey. A good mentor can be an absolute lifesaver for a military spouse. He or she has "been there, done that" and is stronger and more resilient as a result. Find a good mentor... then be smart enough to really listen to their words and learn by their actions. 4) A TRUTH-TELLER This is the friend who helps you choose that homecoming outfit, and in turn makes sure you aren't crossing that line from "Welcome Home, Baby" to "Girls Gone Wild." She will also listen to you whine for only so long before she kicks you in the tush and tells you to "Suck it up, Buttercup." It's called tough love... and we all need a good dose of it once in a while. 3) A STRONG SHOULDER This is the person you can call at 3 a.m. on the first night of a deployment when you are broken-hearted and sobbing. She understands exactly how you feel and will listen for as long as you need her. And then she always seems to know just what to say when you are certain you can't take one more minute. Yes, we all need tough love...but sometimes, we also just need comfort from someone who truly understands what we are going through. 2) A COMEDIAN Laughter through tears truly is the best medicine in the world. This is the friend who can make you laugh... even when the engine just fell out of your car, on your way to the pediatrician, because your kids have the stomach flu. He or she reminds you that sometimes the only way to deal with an impossible situation is to laugh until your cheeks hurt. 1) A GO-TO GUY OR GAL Need a friend to help you rid your house of head lice? Watch your kids while you take the car to the dealer for a new engine? This friend will always answer the call, and genuinely expects nothing in return. Just knowing this person is in your corner will make you more confident. This is sometimes a lonely and difficult life. Good friends will make it a lot easier. Over the years, I have learned to foster friendships that are positive, empowering, and healthy. I can, with all sincerity, say that my military spouse friends are some of the very best women I have ever met. I am blessed to have many friends who fit into one of these categories... and even a few who, honestly, fit into all five! Because of them, I strive in return to become A Mentor, A Truth Teller, A Shoulder, A Comedian, and A Go-To Gal. I only hope I am able to provide them with the same kind of friendship that has empowered me to thrive as a part of this wonderful community all these years. What kind of friendships do you cherish? How have they helped you navigate the challenges and blessings of military life? Connect with us on Facebook!

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