Rebuilding after financial infidelity
First, the two of you need to work together to identify the source of the problem. Why is one person lying to the other about debt or hidden savings accounts? The root of many money problems turns out to be emotional. It is not uncommon for a spouse at home to splurge on spending while his or her spouse is deployed. Shopping is and always has been a coping mechanism…you have to be familiar with the term “retail therapy.” For some people it isn’t just a joke. If you find yourself killing time during a deployment by swiping a credit card and falling behind on payments…it’s time to raise your white flag and get some help. Because this could quickly spiral out of control leaving you and your spouse with mountains of debt instead of the bricks to build a beautiful home together.
Be self-aware. If you know you have a weakness for expensive bags or designer shoes, find other areas to cut costs. Everyone deserves to have something nice and just because your spouse doesn’t see the value in your Kate Spade purse, but you know you worked hard for it…doesn’t mean it’s wrong, as long as you’re honest about it and find away to really afford it. This can only be achieved by sitting down and having calm, open conversations with your partner about finances, goals, and vices.
Come up with a plan. For some people it’s Dave Ramsey; for others it may be Suzy Orman. It doesn’t matter who you look up to financially, but find a guru and model your own bank accounts after theirs. It may even be your own parents. The point is, if you come up with a plan together and vow to stick to it, you and your spouse will feel rich emotionally, knowing you have complete trust in your finances as a couple. This doesn’t mean you won’t have bad days or might sneak a purchase here and there, but it does mean you commit yourself to your spouse and commit to being honest and faithful. Sure, arguments over money will pop up and you may spend $60 on your new shoes when you expected them to cost only $40, but you won’t lie about it. You trust your spouse to defend his or her country and your spouse trusts you to hold down the entire home front while he or she is away…you should trust each other to make sound, financial decisions too…unlock the doors to a new outlook on financial trust and you may walk right into an even better relationship than the one you have right now…because trust is the most important element of staying strong when you spend so much time apart in this crazy military world we call life.
Read Next: 5 Money Tips to Enhance your Romance
