It’s not just the girls either. Our boys are getting this image of the perfect man in their heads too, with strong muscled men in movies and on television shows.
I read once somewhere that for an actor in a movie to maintain his ridiculously muscled and trim physique, he could eat nothing but steamed veggies and boiled chicken with no seasonings.
And he had to work out at the gym for hours every day- before and after shooting.
He said the first thing he did when the movie wrapped was to go to MacDonald’s and eat four burgers and a ton of fries.
He didn’t even go home first.
I resolved to change the way I thought and felt about myself.
It wasn’t hard. The motivation to do so was pretty urgent and powerful. I didn’t want to be the reason that my children hate themselves. I was resolved.
The reason that I ate healthier needed to be because it was good for me and because I liked it– and I’d let myself eat fried foods and baked goods if I wanted to.
If I exercised, the reason needed to be that I was doing it to make my body healthier and stronger.
The clothing I picked and the makeup I wore, if I wore any, needed to be because I wanted to and it was fun, instead of because I had to have it to look good.
A few days ago, I came to my daughter and told her I’d decided something.
“What?” she asked.
“I decided that I don’t think I’m fat.” I said it very matter of fact. It was a statement, not an emotional declaration.
“Good.” She replied, “Because I don’t think you’re fat either.”
Afterward we had a long conversation about people and their bodies, we also talked about the real reason behind someone telling someone else that they’re ugly or fat or their hair looks stupid or they don’t like their clothes and makeup.
I told her how the people that say those mean and bad things about someone else are really saying them because they’re hurt somewhere inside, or jealous or mad, and that they want everyone around them to feel the same way so that they’re not alone.
At the end of the conversation, I asked her what she would say if someone told her something like that- if they said you’re ugly or you’re fat.
This was her reply. “If someone said that to me I’d say: You just feel bad about yourself. Don’t feel bad about yourself. Because all girls are the same amount of pretty. No girls are prettier than other girls.”
Why can’t this be the prevailing mindset?
