Which leads me to my next step, initiating the friendship. As I mentioned earlier, this has always been the hardest part for me. When I met someone I thought I had a connection with I struggled with how to approach the person about scheduling a meet-up and my mind abounded with questions and insecurities. “What should I say? Should I ask them to meet up sometime or exchange numbers? What if they think I’m weird for asking them? What if they don’t want to hang out or don’t like me?” Putting yourself out there and opening yourself up to rejection is honestly a very scary thing.
Traditionally women are not as used to doing this as men are either, since men traditionally ask women on dates so it can be a new and harrowing experience to ask someone out on a “friend date” but if you think about it what’s the worst that can happen? Maybe you ask someone to meet for coffee and they say no? Sure you’ll be embarrassed for a little bit but you know what, that’s their loss and at least you put yourself out there and tried. Odds are if you feel you have a connection with someone they likely feel it too and would love to hang out with you but also don’t know how to ask. Try asking someone to meet up for coffee or happy hour or if you both have kids or a dog you can arrange a play date together. The more you take the leap to ask someone on a “friend date” the easier it becomes.
The biggest step to making new friends is having the courage to put yourself out there, whether that’s by joining a local interest group or asking someone you already know to hang out sometime. Just remember that the worst thing that can happen is someone says no but the best thing that can happen is you could make an amazing friend, one that could even end up being a life-long connection. That’s worth pushing yourself to put yourself out there and get in the “friend-zone.”
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