This week I got a phone call that took away my sense of security.
It took away my ability to feel safe in my home.
It took away my ability to stop on my way home from base and pump gas, because someone might see me in my uniform.
It made me question EVERY move I’ve made in the past few years and wonder how the heck something like this could happen.
You see, while I can take a joke and I appreciate that there are military members (and veterans) that would love to put themselves on a target list for the enemy, when YOUR name is the one on the list, it’s not funny anymore.
A good family friend was giving me guidance on what steps to take and I need to post what he told me on my mirror.
“Now of course, don’t freak out. That’s definitely not what you should do. Live your life to the fullest every day, but don’t keep your head in the sand. Watch people. Be aware of what is always going on around you. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. It will become second nature. But remember, they want you to be scared. Above all, know that you are not alone.”
I refuse to let FEAR win. I refuse to hide. This phone call pushed me into action. I may have taken some steps since that call that I wouldn’t have taken without it, but I know that without a doubt I will be able to protect myself.
MCMAP skills are going to be refreshed.
Boot camp skills are going to be refreshed.
Close confidants know what is going on and have been a sounding board for me when I start to think too much about things. They give me my moment to freak out and then remind me that I have a life to live and hiding out let’s someone else win.
It’s time to take back confidence.
We shouldn’t be living in fear. We should just be living.
Because so many people will never have the chance to live their lives. They have been attacked in clubs. They have been violated in ways that they may never recover from. They have given up their lives overseas for us to be able to have the freedom to live.
So I’m going to live and I’m going to fear less.
