Military spouses frequently spend our entire married lives coming in second, and eager to do so. We willingly come in second because of how important the bigger picture is. Our service members are saving the world. They’ve got the greater responsibility, and so we sacrifice everything we possibly can in order to make sure they can do their job.
The current generation of spouses have raised our voices and concerns in the hopes of recouping some of what we have inevitably lost to military life. However, there hasn’t been much of a voice given to the topic of how valuable our time actually is.
I work from home. This presents a unique set of challenges as well as a unique set of advantages. Working from home means I don’t have to commute, spend extra money on lunch at the office, or pay for a babysitter. I won’t have to pay out to maintain our income. That’s a big deal for a family of 5 that is used to being a single income family.
I also have a few side-gigs writing magazine articles and consulting. I have written books and have appeared on TV shows, and I have gotten paid for all of that. The point here isn’t so much the money, it’s the fact that people pay me for my time- which means it’s actually worth something.
So why is it so hard for us to see our own value? And why does it feel like a mortal sin to ask someone else to see that value and respect it as well?
Surely I’m not the ONLY spouse who feels like our service members should understand that our time is also valuable! So why aren’t more people talking about this? Is it out of shame? Fear of judgement?
I can support my husband right into the ground, but that doesn’t make my time any less valuable, does it?
I don’t know the solution to the “my time vs. your time” argument. My husband and I finally called a cease fire and decided to shelve this fight for another day because I just don’t have the time to argue about how much time I have.
And then he handed me his flight study guide and asked me to quiz him.
