Sometimes my life feels like the adult version of “If You Give a Pig a Pancake.”
After returning home at 1am from an 11-day trip, one of the first things that I planned to do the next morning was to get a cup of coffee and sit down on my couch and pet my dog. It was six am and I had had about 5 hours of sleep. So I really needed coffee, but first, a real shower.
While showering I noticed that the shower floor was slimy and had an odor to it, so after my shower I decided to go ahead and clean it. I went to the kitchen to get my coffee which I normally drink with honey. Since the Honey Jar was empty, I went to The Pantry to fill the Honey Jar from the five gallon bucket which hides on the floor in the back.
I realized the pantry floor was full of rice, onion skins, doghair and other debris, so I went to get a vacuum cleaner to suck that up real quick. When I got the vacuum cleaner out, I noticed that the canister was full. So I headed outside to empty the canister into the big trash can.
To my dismay the trash can outside was full of maggots. Making a mental note of it, but deciding that I didn’t want to get sidetracked from the original Mission of getting honey in the Honey Jar for my coffee so I can sit on the couch and pet my dog, I decided not to empty the vacuum canister into the trash can and also not to vacuum out the pantry at this time, making a mental note that the floors would need to be vacuumed later that day.
I moved on.
I filled the honey jars from the 5 gallon bucket and went back to the kitchen to make my cup of coffee. I then realized that my favorite cup for coffee was still in 1 of 2 full suitcases, that I had not yet unpacked after returning at 1am from my 11-day trip.
While looking for my coffee cup in the suitcases, I decided to go ahead and put the items in the suitcases away. During this time I found my medication I normally take first thing in the morning which was already 3 hours later than usual, but important to do immediately nonetheless.
As I was getting water to wash down my morning medication, I realized my dog had not had her morning medication yet either, so I took care of that, and fed her too.
Then I thought about the fact that I needed to get something out of the freezer for dinner that night, since I was no longer on vacation, found some chicken breasts, threw them in the crock pot and put them outside to simmer for later.
However on the way to the deep freezer in the garage, I saw the mountain of laundry, walked over to it, looked at it, turned on my heel (proud for staying on task) and decided I would climb that mountain later, but for now, dinner.
Then coffee.
My sweet dog was following me around the house and garage, and I suddenly realized she probably hadn’t had a walk in 11 days, so I decided to go ahead and take her for a walk. We enjoyed a brief walk around our neighborhood enjoying the warm weather, the sights and smells, The Familiarities of Home.
On the way out of our driveway I had noticed a pile of dog poop in my yard that didn’t look like my dog’s, and made a mental note to pick that up later after our walk.
Upon returning from our walk, I approached the big trash can to deposit my Walmart bag full of my dog’s poop, and once again saw the maggots, and made a mental note that I really really really needed to take care of that later that day. So after our walk I poured my coffee, which was now only lukewarm and needed to be microwaved. Upon opening the microwave door, the odor and food splashes got the best of me so I wiped it out real quick before heating my coffee, yes with honey in my favorite cup which was at the bottom of the second suitcase, and finally sat down on the couch at noon to drink my morning coffee and pet my dog…
