The goal of a baby shower seems simple: Have fun loving the mama and celebrating the baby.
However, in the military community, these goals can easily drop from our focus amidst the worries of who to invite, the budget for the SIX or more shower gifts needed that month, and overcoming the feeling of “forced fun” among people you may or may not know.
Despite the opportunities for awkwardness among guests, gifts, and games, here are a few special tips to keep the goal of a baby shower in focus:
Follow a shower planning checklist.
There are several options for shower planning checklists online to guide you to the practical steps in planning. Each will give an idea of what is typically done at a shower to pave a way for having FUN loving on the mama and celebrating the baby. The best place to start: Create a guest list, determine location, and send invites.
Although these seem like simple tasks, a host of questions come with each step (and these are just the beginning!). Will the entire unit spouse list be invited or a few special friends of the mama? Is a fellow spouse willing to host the shower in their home, or is there a need to call around to reserve a meeting room at the base housing office or base library? Will invitations be evites, personalized cards made by a local spouse whose business is cardmaking, or simply added to the event calendar in a newsletter? All of these questions depend first and foremost on the unique mama and how she would feel most loved.
Ask the mama if she wants to be involved in the planning.
Before peppering the mama with all the detailed questions from the checklist, ask her how involved she would like to be. Giving the choice of participation is the first step to knowing how to love mama well. If she just wants to choose a date and time and simply show up, great. Talk to other spouses about what has been done in the past, gather information on what she may like by those who love her well, and utilize those baby shower Pinterest boards!
If she wants to have some part in the planning, great. Provide her two options for each step on the task list, so she doesn’t get overwhelmed. If she loves planning and can healthily be involved with each detail, great. Have her outline what she needs help with and love her in that way.
State the goal of the shower at the shower.
Once the planning is done, it is time for the party. Most showers have an opening where a few words are shared. Make sure the goal of the shower is made evident. Not only is this important for the guests to be reminded of the purpose, but it is a great gift to the mama and baby. The focus of those words can alleviate the awkwardness among guests, gifts, and games, and it allows mama and baby to know the event has the beautiful intention (and hopefully success!) of showing them they are loved and celebrated.
Keep it positive.
All too often, showers turn into a time where other moms are sharing their sarcastic advice, scary birth stories, or struggles with their own little ones. Have a plan to redirect conversation if need be. Find ways to talk about the joys of parenting and the fun things in each stage of a child’s life. Celebrating the baby may look like dreaming about what great things this person may do to change the world. A positive mindset and goal during the shower not only will bless the mama and celebrate the baby, it will give each guest a great reminder of the positive potential for their own life. Happy shower planning!
