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How Being a Father Changes Your Dreams

AJ Smit by AJ Smit
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**Photo courtesy of Brittany Brooke Photography, a fellow military spouse and small business owner

When children are young, they ponder what they want to be when they grow up. They share their dreams of jobs, adventures and the day they’ll become a parent. For many, becoming a dad changes their perspective on life and who they are.

Tim Ferry, a civilian dad, is quite the go-getter. His dreams have included racing BMX and becoming an IT expert. He took this same determination to be a good husband and father.

He said, “It’s an honor, but being a dad changes you. Our reason for doing things shifts as our kids come into the picture.”

Terry Phillips, an Air Force father, shared how his dream of getting out to pursue music changed, deciding to retire instead in the Air Force. “My dream now is to provide for the kids by gardening and raising animals to teach them to provide for themselves without relying on others.”

Fathers can be military members and/or spouses, which adds a variety of challenges, trying to balance fatherhood, dreams, and work.

Tim clarifies, “We often look at dreams as hefty expenses, but they can be small things, like a weekly bike ride, or saving up for a fishing trip a little at a time.”

Michiel Van Tichelen, a military spouse, reveals, “The only way I can ‘provide’ in our situation is to be a stay-at-home dad because daycare is expensive. A time will come when our kids attend school, and those less realistic dreams will become realistic again. I love being a dad because I get to raise a human being, which is mind-blowing to me. I also love having someone to share my passions with and who looks at me the way I look at my parents. I’d love after we retire, to perhaps own a B&B with a little bicycle shop attached.”

David Carrera, the AFI Navy Spouse of the Year, explains how dreams shift as well, “I spend more time with my son, now that we are in Okinawa. I’ve accomplished most of my goals and dreams. I look forward to seeing the world through my son’s eyes and helping him navigate it so he can achieve his dreams.”

Fathers build us up and encourage us to chase our dreams. Let’s embrace Father’s Day to speak life and encouragement to them as well, by telling them we love them and are proud of them.

Tags: military dadsmilitary life
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