As my daughters mourned the passing of Matthew Perry, I grieved Chandler Bing and realized how blessed I have been to find my “Central Perk friends.” On TV, the group of friends seemed to know when everyone would arrive without the help of cell phones, texting, or social media. In my twenties, I desperately wanted a place to hang out with friends for hours at a time.
You and I both know life is rarely like TV shows. It is hectic, stressful, full of surprises, and rarely wraps up in a neat and tidy 30-minute episode. But friendship must be important if the sitcom’s creators wrote 236 episodes centered around it.
As I matured, I realized what I wanted more than people at a coffee shop was friends who would show up whenever I needed them. Friends who would be there when I didn’t even know I needed them. Friends who would race over despite my protests about dirty dishes in the sink and spit up on my clothes. Friends who would let me play a supporting role in their difficult episodes. Sadly, the military lifestyle makes developing this kind of intimacy extremely difficult.
Nevertheless, I prioritized finding a group of friends to share life with at each duty station. Friends who, even when the military moved us apart, knew we would pick up right where we left off after the break.
My “Central Perk” changed locations often, but it usually had a table and coffee. During our husbands’ deployments in Germany, it became “Veranda Time,” where moms came together while kids played to share food and wine. In the Mojave Desert, it was beside a pool, staying cool. Now that my kids are grown, I reach out to my neighbors and join groups that travel or try new restaurants together. My favorite place to meet friends has always been the local chapel or church.
One of my Central Perk friends flew into town when my mother passed away, ready to hold my hand and spend hours listening to me. My “Courtney” managed my schedule at my daughter’s wedding and remembered where my phone was. My “Phoebe” made me laugh when I stressed about finishing my Accredited Financial Counselor certificate. Each friend helped me in their own unique way when I needed it most.
Even now, though we are hundreds of miles apart, my friends seem to know when to reach out and say, “Hey, I have been thinking of you. How YOU doing?” They let me vent, make me giggle, and then usually point out where I am overreacting. I don’t like that part much, but having friends who still show up is a treasure.
How do you find your friends? What do you look for in a friend? Do you have a group of Central Perk friends in your life? If you have a group of Central Perk Friends in your life, tag them/share this article with them and thank them for being there for you.
Jennifer Wake is an Army wife, mother of three grown children, teacher, and writer. She loves mentoring military spouses, especially chaplain’s spouses who serve sacrificially. Her passions include writing books and blogs, developing training material, networking with women, and quilting. She resides in Bristow, VA, with her wonderful husband and two dogs. www.jenniferwake.com
