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I’m Just Here for the Sex and the Tennis

Stacy Huisman by Stacy Huisman
in Spouse 101
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I’m Just Here For the Sex and the Tennis

There are very few things we can control as military spouses.  We have zero control over where we live, when or how we move.  When it comes to deployments, we have even less control over when our spouse deploys, when we can talk to them or when he/she is finally able to return home.  Actually, the list is endless of the things we cannot control. Pass the wine, please. 

For “Type A” personalities aka control freaks like myself, this military life can be challenging or more like maddening. However, I have found one simple thing that gives me the control I need to stay content in this life.  I have carved out a slice of bliss for myself at each new assignment and during every deployment.   My happiness is tennis.

My husband always asks me if I’m going to be “ok” with the next assignment or the next deployment.  I (half) jokingly respond,  “I have little control over it, so really, I’m just here for the sex and the tennis. As long as I have those two things, I’ll be fine. Move me where ever!”

Now, substitute the word “tennis” with any hobby or love of sport in your life.  I caution you NOT to substitute the word “sex” with any other word.  That’s important, but we’ll save that for another article.  What makes you happy?  Find that little slice of bliss for yourself, especially while your spouse is deployed.   Don’t confuse doing things for your children or spouse with doing things for yourself.  They are separate and not to be blended.  Also, I would even go as far as to say your hobby or passion should NOTHING to do with the military or other military spouses.  Find your own your spot in the sun.

When I first started playing tennis in ’05 while at Maxwell AFB, I joined a local tennis league.  That is where I met the most amazing women with serious southern charm from the community. I totally got the low down on places to eat, babysitters, schools and local fun. No one cared what my husband did for a living or what rank he was or wasn’t.  Actually, most of the tennis community seemed bored when I started talking about life as a military spouse. It was strangely refreshing. 

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