4. Stay connected.
I’ve heard it said that the natural tendency in marriage is towards drifting apart, and I’d say divorce rates bear this out.
If this is true for partners who are together nearly all the time, how much more so when you’re not?
Make a commitment to staying connected through as many avenues as possible, whether it’s texting, video chat, daily calls or a love note tucked into luggage. Touch base often.
5. Don’t take each other for granted.
I took three trips this past month for work and family obligations (not the norm for me), and by the last leg of my last flight, after dealing with delays and countless rude people, I called my husband to confess, “I couldn’t do this on a regular basis like you do.”
While he is constantly in and out of airports, strange hotels, shuttles and taxis, I’m reminded that I enjoy the comfort of my own home and bed.
For his part, he expresses gratitude often at all I do to keep things together at home. It’s never productive to play the “who has it harder” game, but infinitely more important to walk a mile in each other’s shoes from time to time and let the other know how much you appreciate them.
6. It’s OK to be sad.
Since I believe it’s also important to express when things are “not OK,” I might consider it a little odd if you weren’t sad while apart.
Yes, we military spouses do a great job at holding it together, completely rock at dealing with all the strange circumstances military life has a tendency to throw at us when alone, and manage work responsibilities, relationships and kid stuff like nobody’s business.
But I’m married for a reason. I not only love, but also like my husband. I enjoy spending time with him and miss the little day-to-day moments when he’s not here.
So it would be strange if the separations, while I’m used to them, didn’t affect me.
If you’re alone more often than not, I’d love to hear tips on how you cope. In the meantime, better run… “Xavier” is home and it’s time for dinner!
