5. We (maybe) want to volunteer.
I hear these statements often: Is there really a place for me in this organization? I want to help, but – I can’t offer much time. I really (really) hate calling people on the phone. Fundraising gives me hives. I don’t know the rank structure. See, the beauty of the FRG is that there is/can be a place for everyone. Encourage your FRG leader to find a place on the committees for you – there are activity committees, welcome committees, relief committees. There is a place for you – FRGs can generally use more volunteers.
6. We definitely do not want to volunteer.
There are some of us who cannot and do not want to be involved. This does not equate to anything more than personal preference. This does not (I repeat, does NOT) mean that we are less of a military spouse/family member if this is so. There may or may not come a time when we may feel an inclination to assist the FRG, so, please, keep a respectful demeanor about you and show common decency to those who do not want to participate. Our decisions and our time are valuable commodities that we can use as we see fit. We are entitled to our own opinions, just as you are.
7. We’re into authenticity.
There’s an unfortunate idea circulating that the FRG has become synonymous with drama, gossip and clique-iness, and to be involved in such an organization means we have to succumb to those methods. That is not true. We all need a safe place, and, contrary to what many of us have experienced, the FRG can be that safe place. FRG leaders, try to be a part of the solution and set an example to the entirety of your organization. Furthermore, you set the tone and standards for your group of spouses. Strive to create a nurturing environment that dismisses rude and vulgar gossip in exchange for uplifting, strengthening conversation, intent on bettering yourselves and others.
Here’s my final thought: Each of us in this military community understands just a bit of what the other is going through. And we can each strive to be a little better. Prominent religious leader Gordon B. Hinckley wrote that we can each make a deeper resolution to be better people than we have been in the past. He says, “I hope that I will be a little kinder to any I meet who may be in distress. I hope that I will be a little more helpful to those who are in need. I hope that I will be a better husband, a better father and grandfather. I hope that I will be a better neighbor and friend.”
Inside our military community, we can each do a little better, all spouses alike. Be the change, be the good and try to be part of the solution.
