4. Withhold judgement or comparisons.
When it comes to supporting friends whose partner or family is deployed, empathy is key.
One of the most frustrating things to say to a military spouse is, “I know how you feel.” As a spouse who has never faced a deployment, I have no idea how it feels to know my partner won’t be home for months, but even if that were the case, no two situations or people are exactly the same.
I may experience a deployment completely differently than a friend and I won’t ever completely know what it’s like to be in his or her shoes. Additionally, extra precaution should be taken to refrain from judgmental statements, like “You knew what you were signing up for”or “I can’t believe you’re still this upset.”
Those words can sting and close someone off from going to friends for help.
Being a good friend takes time and effort, and although it might be easy to post a status online or send a quick message every once in a while, by truly reaching out and being there for the people around us, military spouses as can pull together and survive deployments as a community.
