5. Ask for help
On the second deployment, we decided since he was in Japan, I could fly there and visit him on base. I had never even traveled outside of US territory or Mexico.. and 8 weeks before my flight to the day, I broke my foot.
I couldn’t walk… the crutches were no help… and I ended up buying a wheelchair just to get from the couch to the kitchen or bathroom.
My friends were incredible. To this day I thank God for them, because they moved furniture for me to get around easier and took me to doctor appointments to help me get better before the trip. It was really hard for me… it was hard to ask for help, but this experience humbled me.
Why is it we all want to help others and then never ask for it when we need it? Break the habit. I mean it.
You need a cup sugar- ask for it, you need a couch to cry on- ask for it.
No one feels you are a burden anymore than if you would feel burdened if they need you. We need each other in this life. If you don’t have anyone to call, call me. I mean it.
6. I can’t sleep in an empty bed
OK so… I sleep on the couch. I have developed this weird habit of never sleeping in our bed when he’s gone.
On the first deployment, I never even went upstairs. The second deployment, I was able to ween myself off the couch slowly towards the end, even with the broken foot, to re-acclimate myself to having a body next to mine.
I tend to “starfish” and my husband and I are tall people. I am 6ft myself and he’s at least 6’2″, so our queen bed holds her own.. but the moment we get a bedroom big enough for a king size bed, I am running out to get it.
My friend, Kristin, had a really good idea to help me un-starfish myself for when he got home- which was to pile pillows on half of the bed. It worked!
My husband came home to his own side of the bed. He was actually impressed.
Hey, do what you have to do to adapt and overcome, right?
7. Military friend cycles
Friends come and go. What I mean is, you ALL are on different schedules.
One has one deployed when yours is home and vice versa and it goes round and round. That means honeymoon season is different for everyone. It is rare that everyone has their significant other all at the same time, so be patient.
We all cope differently and therefore we need to be sensitive to which part of the cycle they are in. Am I in PJ mode or night out mode, is it close to homecoming or close to deployment?
These are all times where we need to not take things personally and just love on each other more, not less.
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