And here’s another thing, they might miss the good things we’ve got going on here with our families, but they need to hear that we’re doing all right. They need to know that they have a reason to press on and keep taking care of their families and protecting our country! I might have a little guilt about telling my husband all the delicious dishes I’m making for Thanksgiving when he’s gone for the 5th year in a row, but he hears that excitement in my voice when I talk about it and he knows that what he’s doing to take care of our family and provide for us is just a little bit more worth it.
On the flip side, too, here’s something I’ve learned that was a more difficult lesson than I expected. It’s all right for them to enjoy the deployment too.
((GASP))
No way, right!? But it is. My husband has made some really fantastic friends while deployed. There have also been times I want to reach through the computer screen and strangle him because he’s talking about how amazing it is to take scuba diving lessons or tour foreign palaces or stay up most of the night dancing at the base club. I sometimes find myself getting resentful when he chooses social plans with his deployed colleagues over coming home and staring at me on the computer screen (even when we don’t have anything to talk about). But just as much as the spouse at home needs to find ways to stay busy and involved, the deployed service members need that too! Again, they shouldn’t be partying like they’re at a frat party every night, but I think as a spouse, it’s important for me to encourage him to enjoy everything he can while he is gone.
So, when you find yourself laughing with your kids because they’ve just learned how to swim or hanging out with friends after work and truly relaxing and enjoying yourself, don’t let that guilt creep in. You’ve got to allow yourself to still truly live life to the fullest even when the one you love is thousands of miles away.
