Keeping Your Service Member An Important Part of Daily Life.
Although children can somewhat perceive what they can’t see, they are still very much “out of sight out of mind,” individuals. In order to remember their dad I bought simple 5×7 frames and put a picture of him with them in their rooms to display. Like most families we also made special stuffed animals with a message recorded by dad that they could listen to when they needed to hear his voice. Perhaps the most rewarding piece of imagery that stirred the most emotion and remembrance within them was the small $6 book we made for each of them with photos of daily life with dad. Those books accompanied us on car rides, trips to the grocery store and even to friends’ houses.
Aside from subtle reminders in the form of images and stuffed animals we also did actives that involved him. We wrote letters to which he would reply when he was able to and we informed him a of books we were reading so that he could engage in important discussions like “what comes after one fish, two fish, red fish, ______.” As part of our daily routine we included him in our prayers and spoke about him in our conversations throughout the day. By keeping him involved with even the most mundane practices of our daily life, he was able to speak the language of a two year old and ensure that even though he may be far from home he was still an active participant in their lives.
Crossing The T’s and Dotting The Lowercase J’s.
War is hard. There isn’t always Internet connection and Skype doesn’t always successfully connect. Missions interrupt even the most faint traces of normality and you can’t just pick up the phone when your little one needs encouragement from your service member. As the present parent, this is where you pull up your big people pants and tear off your Clark Kent disguise. Perhaps it isn’t the most honest practice but there were definitely times when I did something I needed to do in the name of DAD. Practices like putting a token piece of candy in an Easter Basket “from dad,” or a special first day of school prize “from dad.”
Being a team player sometimes means playing defense the whole game so your teammate can score the shots. As long as communication between you and your spouse is clear and effective, being the deliveryman doesn’t need to be a big black mark in your book of dishonesty.
Deployment is difficult, that is fact. Murphy might (probably will) rain on every single one of your parades. Bad days in the form of sadness will happen for you and your family. These things are true. Yet, in the midst of the challenge we have the opportunity to build strong and CONFIDENT children and even reinforce those same characteristics within ourselves. Do not let sadness and discouragement over take your ability to be that builder. Hold your heads high fellow spouses, you can do this.
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