I know transferring is a “normal” part of military life, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still hard. The truth is there is a lot of loss you deal with when you go through a transfer and have to start over. Loss of friends, sometimes loss of job, loss of routine and familiarity. I think it’s ok to be sad and afraid. It’s a normal reaction. We military wives may be strong, but we are also human. We have fears and emotions.
The important thing is not to let the fear or the sadness surrounding an impending transfer overwhelm you. Here are a few things that are helping me stay positive:
1 | Developing an employment plan. We have a few months before we transfer but I’ve already started to research jobs and companies in my field in the area I think we’ll be moving to. If we get the station we picked, I plan on contacting companies in my field the month before we move to see if they may possibly have an opening.
2 | Planning on utilizing unemployment. In most states, military spouses are eligible for up to 6 months of unemployment pay for quitting a job due to a transfer. Knowing that we’ll have a cushion until I find a job makes me feel less stressed about moving.
3 | Researching the area and groups I may be able to join. To make new friends, I plan on looking for groups with similar interests, for me that would be a book club or a running club so that I can continue my hobbies and meet new people.
4 | Writing a bucket list. I am writing a list of things I want to do before we leave California and once we get orders I also plan on writing a list of things I’m looking forward to doing in the state we’re moving to, (wherever that is….). This gives me a list of things I can look forward to in the future and will hopefully help me stay positive.
On those days when it all feels overwhelming, a little wine and chocolate helps too.
Of course, the number one thing helping me stay positive about the transfer is that I will have my best friend, my husband, to go through it with me, and our furbaby of course. I know it will be hard but we’ll get through it together and ultimately be closer for it, just like all the other challenges we’ve overcome in the past. There is a saying that only by embracing fear and change can we truly grow. Well, one thing you can say about the military life is it certainly forces you to embrace change, even when you don’t want it. I have no idea what our future holds but I do look forward to growing a lot with my husband over the years as we continue on the adventure this life is.
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