I wrote previously about the rollercoaster our upcoming transfer has been for my husband and I. First, we were definitely moving. I spent tear-filled months alternating between trying to bravely embrace the idea of leaving and having semi-hysterical Chicken Little breakdowns, “the sky is falling!”
Then, miracle of miracles, we were staying! The heavens parted and down from the sky came orders to transfer to another San Diego base. We gleefully sent goofy snapchats to our friends announcing the news. However, our happiness was short lived. The day after we got orders we found out the base he got orders to was closing and the rug was ripped out from under us. Since then, we’ve been waiting to find out if we were staying or transferring to somewhere else.
Well, the wait is over and now it’s officially official…again. We’re moving. The word arrived abruptly one morning with several frantic calls from my husband and suddenly we had minutes to pick between two bases or let Uncle Sam pick for us. With no time to research the differences between the two cities, we picked which one sounded best and crossed our fingers because in case you forgot, everything with Uncle Sam is uncertain. So just because we picked doesn’t mean we’ll get the base we picked. We still don’t really know the when or where, (after all, it’s not like we need details ahead of time, right???), the only thing that’s really certain now is that we’re moving in 4-5 months.
I was having a normal day at the office when I received this news and the next second the beginning of my world as I’ve known it was crashing down. I accepted the news calmly at first. It wasn’t until much later that day when I was done with work and all the other day’s errands that I felt the fear and loss from the news truly wash over me. Cue another Chicken Little type breakdown.
I’ve always considered myself a strong person, but I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m afraid of so many things regarding this transfer. I’m afraid of losing my job, I’ve worked very hard to get to where I am at work right now and the idea of having to start over is both scary and frustrating.
I’m afraid of losing my friends. I hope they will visit and I know some of them will, but it is different having to fly to see your friends versus just calling them on the phone to meet up for a last minute happy hour.
I’m afraid of having a baby without any family or close friends around. We’ve been talking about trying for a baby this year and the idea of having our first kid in a different state without our close friends or family around saddens me.