Holidays are a great time to see distant relatives, but can also lead to huge headaches.
The biggest thing to remember when you are an awkward conversation away from drinking a full bottle of wine under a table or getting ready to pull your hair out after talking to Aunt Karen is that the day will end and they will be heading home soon enough.
Families are a blessing and a curse. You do not get to choose your family, but you do get to choose what family you visit on the holidays. Whether you chose as a family to stay and celebrate the holidays with your military family or go home, choose what will make your immediate family the happiest. When times were rough with my family, we would leave the state and celebrate the holiday just as an immediate family.
If it is your first holiday as a military spouse and you are trying to accommodate everyone’s requests to see you, it is OKAY to say no and prioritize your sanity. Even if your mother-in-law is breathing down your neck about why you spent more time with your family instead of your spouse’s family it is okay to politely remind her that you had set plans.
If it is your first holiday with little ones in tow it is completely fair and justified to say, “We will be celebrating Christmas at 10am at our house. You are more than welcome to come over.” Do not feel the need to visit every single family members’ house. It is unfair to you and your family to be sitting in the car all day and not enjoying the holiday.
If it is your spouse’s first holiday season (after joining the military) do not be afraid to be their backbone and stand up to relatives that are constantly asking them to visit every single family members house under the sun. Remind them that the family could have visited them at any time of the year. Leave time is short and valuable DO NOT waste it with those you did not want to see. It may sound rude, but it’s the truth that you don’t want to admit.
Create your own traditions and be grateful that you have each other to celebrate the holidays.
