I’m sick of hearing a girlfriend or boyfriend ask for advice when they have a relationship issue and a married person says “you guys aren’t married, you can just leave them” or “get out while you can.” People wrongfully think marriage will keep a partner with them. That’s abusive. In both instances, married or unmarried, both parties need to communicate and need to feel safe and comfortable. As I said, marriage is the legal recognition of an already existing, valid relationship.
We want to marry purely for the significance of marriage. Neither of us wants any additional benefits to be a driving factor. After two years of dating, we still have a lot to learn about each other, because getting to know someone takes years, and for us, that has been prolonged due to distance while I earn a degree and he works for the Army. We also accept that this is a time we are both experiencing a great deal of personal growth as we are in completely different places in life surrounded by completely different environments.
I’m living the college Greek life and he is working a professional job. Therefore, it is possible we will change in ways that no longer make us compatible in the future. Another factor keeping us from marriage is our limited time together. We only see each other for a weekend once in a while, and rather than waste that time in a courthouse when that is totally unnecessary for us, we’d rather do other things we enjoy together. Financially, we’d rather spend money on seeing each other and on personal indulgences than a wedding ceremony. We can worry about all that later.
Not marrying does not mean we don’t love or care about each other.
We don’t feel rushed to turn to the law for our relationship. We don’t feel it’s necessary, have the time, have the money, or simply care to do it. Everyone’s relationship is valid whether married or not, and for some people, marriage is just not that important.
